Work It

One of my parenting mottos is "focus on the parts that are working, and don't get too bummed out about the hard stuff". That mostly pertained to the infant stage where the sleep deprivation could really overshadow the awesome part of all the baby snuggles. Good segue to a throw back to two years and two days ago:

Hugo "spoiling" his new baby sister; bringing her a toy and a chicken nugget. Knowing Hugo a little better, his offering shows his devotion from day one. 

More photos and description of Miss "I do" at age two coming soon. 

In summary, she is very independent and always wants to be "helpful". 

Bringing Hugo the napkins.

Hugo's napkin folding skills are on point.

Our beloved cleaning lady, Alla, has been visiting family in Ukraine for the last month and so the kids...ahem...Crosby has been really picking up the slack.

Carmen cuddling is a very important part of the job description.

I lightened the chore load on Crosby since we added practicing piano to the routine. On a typical day, he comes from school does the unpaid things he needs to do (in red), and then if time allows starts working on the paid tasks (in green). Ideally he does a paid chore in the morning (usually unloading the dishwasher), but our mornings are already pretty rushed. Before he got really lego motivated, I requested that he just do one paid chore after returning from school. Now I let him do as many as he wants provided he's completed the unpaid tasks and time allows. 

Current chore chart

Our first versions of the chore chart included pictures (and timing during lockdown). Crosby just reminded me last week that now he can read and no longer requires all the inspirational artwork.

I developed the pay schedule through the years based on trial and error:

- 20 cents - he takes initiative and does a chore without me asking him to do anything

- 5 cents - he does a chore after I ask him

- 0 cents - he complains or doesn't do the chore the first time I ask

The important thing about the chores is that no matter what, he has to do them. We're usually all working together while he's doing chores. Taking part in the family work is not optional.* 

*Unless you're Hugo Beckley Biggs. Transitions from one activity to another are so challenging, that we're just focusing on behavior and basic needs - eat together, sleep (also together), and disposing of waste (sometimes together). #pickyourbattles #heimscheisser (Got to love German, it's a term for a person who will only poop at home. #threelittleheimscheissers) He does chores when he says "I want to make money." If he helps Crosby with unloading the dishwasher, for example, he gets 5 cents or more depending. He gets paid on the spot because #idontunderstandpatience.

This last Saturday, Crosby spent the better part of the morning getting our house "Sabbath ready". 

He packed and froze sandwiches for the week. (Not a paid task, because he's only preparing meals for himself.) He does a great job and it makes the mornings much easier. 

He put away a weeks' mountain of his and Hugo's clothes.

He picked-up and vacuumed the downstairs. 

It was at this point that I gave him a raise for vacuuming. I figured instead of 20 cents for the entire house, 20 cents a room was more fair. Crosby is always asking for a raise, and I felt like the model of acknowledging his hard work, without him asking, was more like what a raise looks like in the outside world. Also, 20 cents an hour is unfair labor practices. 

The extra moola is very motivating. My friend Shannon came over on Tuesday. While we were chatting in the living room she asked "is that the sound of the vacuum?" "Yes, that's Crosby finishing cleaning the kitchen." Big victory. With no reminding, there's a dude helping his mom. It's a culmination of years of finding a chore rythm and I am grateful.

At the end of our week of chore bonanza, Crosby adds up his total for the week and he puts the money in his wallet. It usually ends up being between 50 cents to 3 Euros. Sundays are supposed to be a rest day but he views it as a day he gets a guaranteed 20 cents for each chore because I don't ask him to do anything. It's not exactly the idea of Sabbath but again #norealsabbathformommy . Which is a good reminder, I better get my rest in while the kids are at school. This mommy is going to nap.