Book Report: Why I Hope to Die at 75

Paul's and my second honeymoon started yesterday! It's off to a bit of a rough start considering Hugo also tested positive for Corona that morning. Twelve days after Crosby, really? Nevertheless, I'm feeling a little nostalgic about when Paul and I got married and wanted to start this post with a humble brag. Paul and I remixed some new additions and some classic lines for some solid vows on our wedding day:

I, Paul, take you, Paige, to be my friend, my lover,

the mother of my children, and my wife.

I stand here today loving what I know of you,

and trusting what I do not yet know.

And, I commit to grow with you through the seasons of life.

In the presence of our family and friends,

I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner

in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad,

and in joy as well as in sorrow,

for as long as we both shall live.

The last ten years have included many moments in our lives where we learned things about each other we did not know. This is just one example that happened on our wedding day:

The Scene: Posing with my Grandparents (the day after their 65th wedding anniversary)

Paul: "I hope we are as happy as you two on our 65th wedding anniversary."

Paige to Paul privately: "I don't want to live that long."

Ok, at first glance my comment sounds like a total downer. But, my grandparents got married at 18 and 20. Paul and I were 29 and 33. In 2012, my grandparents were in good health for their mid 80s. But, I really didn't have a vision for how they would be in ten years. My grandfather died of a stroke in 2014. My grandma continues to be the most positive person I have ever met even through being widowed and isolated in covid. She is an inspiration. I am grateful every day for who she has been and continues to be. 

Ok, so there is no real smooth way to transition this into what this blog is really about - Why I Hope to Die at 75  by Ezekiel Emanuel. Ok, technically this isn't a book but rather an article in the Atlantic published in 2014. But man, those Atlantic articles are long and thus a book report. (I have the article as a PDF if you want it. Just ping me.)

I stumbled upon this article from a recent clip on CNN. As one can imagine, reporters continue to follow-up with Dr. Emanuel as he gets closer to 75. He is currently 65 and still agreeing with his article.  Also, he had my ear when he made his position against euthanasia for the many of the same reasons I do not support it.

There were so many things I loved about this article. Mostly, I felt like this article really spoke to me and gave me a vision for my future. Some people, like my Grandma, live gracefully into old age. I don't think that is me. I never thought of the option of picking an age, and at that point switching to palliative care. At 75, Dr. Emanuel will do palliative care or for example repairing a knee that will maintain his quality of life but not prolong it. He is going to forgo preventative treatment like colonoscopies, flu shots, and check-ups. He is leaving the door open for an infection to finish the job, which is usually pretty swift, if it is his time to go.

One place where he kind of lost me was he wants to have a memorial service when he is 75.  We all had the idea to do something similar for my mom at the end of her life and it was just sad. It was too late; no one felt like dancing.  But then I thought about my current strategy on big birthdays; I usually just celebrate our big wedding anniversaries instead. (Ok, ok I celebrate both...and definitely will be doing something for 40 this year.)

Without further ado, God willing, a save the date:

Paige and Paul's Sapphire Wedding Anniversary: Going out with Bang

Date: Fall 2057

Location : TBD

Dress Code: All the Sparkles