On my last glorious vacation I got to spend time with this lovely lady:
Per usual, Amber gave me some great book recommendations for my ongoing list. She also reminded me to finish the book to which her parents attribute their children's continued friendship into adulthood - Siblings Without Rivalry. I too would love my kids to be close, but the subtitle "How to help your children live together so you can live too" is what got this audiobook back in my ear.
Wowza do we have a lot of conflict brewing in the house these days. That is, when we are all actually together and not enjoying time apart:
Close-up on that Monterey beach artwork:
Yup! I'm still Hugo's muse.
Before reading Siblings without Rivalry, I would comment something like, "Hugo is still my number one fan." However, inherent in that statement is a comparison between him and his siblings. Generally speaking, nobody likes to be put in a box. But for siblings, labeling them the pretty one, the smart one, etc - is a recipe for conflict.
A lot of the concepts in Sibilings without Rivalry are not new for us who dabble in management and/or parenting books. Kids often just want to be validated. Kids need to solve problems on their own. Etc Nevertheless, these are the reminders that I need to hear. It's hard to remember to ask more clarifying questions about a kid's feelings when said child is generally being loud and/or rather annoying.
I think the big change I'll bring into our routine is making time for regular family meetings. I spend a lot of time troubleshooting with little success because the ideas don't come from the kids themselves. The first item on the family meeting agenda will be how to have more relaxing mealtimes. Needless to say, meals have been a lot quieter around here without our beach babes.
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