It's a Good Thing

Growing-up, my mom loved the show Martha Stewart Living. While she watched in rapture, I was mostly bored. Side note - we never watched "family shows" because in my opinion they were never truly interesting for kids nor for adults. Thankfully family television has improved dramatically since the 90s. Most recently, all five of us loved Win or Lose (Disney+) and Asterix and Obelix (Netflix). 

Needless to say, my mom and I didn't have a lot of overlapping hobbies. She loved making fancy stuff. I, for example, appreciate looking nice. However, the process of getting there - ie shopping - is a chore. She could persevere to re-try recipes to spin sugar while I opt to save-up my patience to endure my sous chefs' 'process'. 

Cutting watermelon = great way to entertain a kid for 20 minutes. Less great if you're trying to get out the door to meet Captain Maciek

Be jealous. My summer is complete and it's only June. But I digress...

Martha Stewart was my mom's Oprah, if you will. My Oprah is the author Anne Lemott. Her newest book, Somehow, did not disappoint. Never before have I felt more "seen" by an author than in her coda. 

It's right here for you who want to see inside my soul.

While googling a part of her book, ie going down an ADHD research rabbit hole, I discovered this book:

Learning to Speak God from Scratch is kind of like the books of one of my other favorite authors in that I can't really explain the topic well. But generally, the book fits in nicely with my goal of going "full church lady". (I am reclaiming that term from Dana Carvey.) I aim to spend more time reading and reflecting on faith than world news as an act of defiance against the ruling manbabies. It's a spiritual battle to stay informed enough while not letting them suck me into their vortex of nonsense. 

Learning to Speak God from Scratch is an excellent book in the toolkit of being intentional about not just what goes in your brain (and heart), but also what comes out of your mouth.  Can someone please read this book and tell me what you think. Also, can Jonathan Merritt be my real-life friend?

These times are weary making. We all need more hugs, encouragement, and grace to keep moving forward. We can't let anyone steal our joy. These little weirdos are counting on us.

Don't tell Martha. Store bought pie crust...it's a good thing.

Book Report: Woven

In our rare moments of lower level dinner chaos, Paul and I often end up explaining some asinine "Trumpet" nonsense. (Why are there secret prisons in El Salvador? Why are Afrikaners being given refugee status in the USA? etc, etc) While it's important that our kids are informed, these conversations aren't life giving. We've also fallen into a habit of talking more about politics than things that I would argue are more important - like faith. Which is a segue into a review about a book that I loved:

Listening to this book is like having a conversation with a parent-friend who knows her stuff. Which makes sense because it was recommended by just such a friend.

Fan girls of the "Christmas Angel Unicorn"

Before reading Woven, my take was, "As long as my kids know that God loves them, we're good." While knowing they are loved and accepted as they are is paramount, the next step is feeling in their bones that God can be trusted. I definitely catch myself, and my kids, in the thinking of, "It will all be ok because ...." 

we'll get our German citizenship.

we'll heal from whatever ailment.

we won't be in this season of life forever.

All of these things are good in-and-of themselves. But, trusting in those things is not the same as, "It will all be ok because God will be with me through all the nonsense and the nonsense to come." 

This lent I was hoping to help the kids memorize the Lord's Prayer.  I need the reminder, "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." It is a spoken acknowledgment that all is not well in the world but that this isn't the last word. We didn't make it far. In fact, most nights Carmen can't remember if 'Amen' is at the beginning or the end. 

This week she's away at camp, so there will be more time for contemplation...or fart jokes. Or contemplating fart jokes. 

And the winner is...Freiburg (im Breisgau)

I tried to play hard-to-get with the 'Boulder, CO' of DE. I was worried about its ego. When you live in one of the coolest places, it's hard not to let it go to your head. The truth is, I was pretty much immediately won over by the cyclist bridge directly in-front of the train station.

If you're traveling with children under the age of eight, the first stop is to buy some wooden boats to 'sail' along the canals. 

Side note: yes, Carmen has semi-permanent pink hair. I was in a rare position to make Carmen's pink hair dreams come true a couple of weeks ago. 

Step 1: Lost in Translation moment of booking one, two hour appointment instead of two appointments in one hour.

Step 2: Post field trip stroller nap

Step 2b: Continue sleeping once transferred to bike.

Step 3: Show me a happier kid.

But I digress...

Paul's former colleague, Cassandra, was the best tour guide of all time. She brought her own map, and showed us all the things.

And of course, Cassandra worked in stops for Carmen do what she does best:

Kuchen: 0, Carmen: 1

And she offered an optional hike extension for Hugo to be in his happy place:

The next day she lent Paul and me bikes so we could tootle around. 

Greenlake of Freiburg: check

Urban hike: check

Not pictured, acceptable Mexican food: check

The next day we head to Munich. 

The family snuggle seating on Munich S-Bahns was a plus:

I mean, look how much fun my kids are having.

And breakfast overlooking the city was baller:

Thank you Grandpa and Abuela for sponsoring such luxury!

But at the end of the day, no amount of frolicking in and around the city could hide that Munich is big and not the slowed pace we're seeking. 

I'm thankful that we still have another almost year-and-a-half in Berlin. I need time to convince more people that summer 2026 is the time to move to the Black Forest. I dare you not to fall in love with this city.

Book Report: A Burning in my Bones

I don’t know how this book found me but it was such an encouragement.

Eugene Peterson is best known for his modern translation of the Bible called The Message. Which, fun fact, he wrote while he was in his 60s and 70s. 

His story begins with how the rugged Montana landscape shaped his faith. As I have a couple little people who currently don’t want much to do with God, I’m feeling validated that a move to more nature could be good for their souls. Peterson mostly lived a “quiet” life of service until becoming famous at the end of his pastoral career due to the success of The Message. Around this time, Peterson returned to his birthplace to write and also invite friends to stay. 

There were a few mentions of seasons when the Petersons felt overstretched. One such time was after housing something like over 100 guests in a year. This is my segue into how I prepare myself for guests. 

Step 1: Set expectations 

In our case, I half jokingly send this blog. As you can see from the flow chart, our home is not only not a restful place, it can be hazardous to your health. We also let people know that we’ll try to be available as much as we can, but they’ll need to do some touring on their own as we have a lot going on with the kids.

Step 2: Gather Information

Do you have any dietary restrictions?

Do you have any mobility issues?

Is there anything you want to see?

Step 3: Give homework

Even if you’re pretty fit, there is so much more walking here. You need dedicated broken-in walking shoes and a sturdy travel stroller if you’re traveling with a kid under five. The goal should be to be able to walk 20,000 steps a few days in a row without feeling it the next day. Bonus points if you watch any of these movies while on the treadmill. 

Step 4: Prep Day

In a perfect world, this step is jotting down a meal plan and planning adventures. However, sometimes we host guests that are more emotionally challenging. For these guests, this preparation day is more prayerful/introspective. These are the questions I ask myself:

• Do I need to explain anything in advance to any individual kid, or to all of them?
• Do I have a hill to die on? What behavior am I going to just let go, verses when do I need to stand up for myself or my kids?
• Is there anything my partner wants me to address? 
• Where can I build-in breaks for myself, kids, or my partner?
• Which day might I need a Xanax?

Step 5: Pre-visit Rest Day

Weekly sabbath can be easily get eaten up by visitors. You’ve got to guard it with your life (or make it a priority if you’re not on the sabbath train).

Step 6: Post-visit Recovery Day

This is not the same as sabbath. This is likely putting your house back together or maybe showing some love to the kid who had a harder week because of said visitor.

Step 7: Post-visit Rest Day

This is a day where you take care of yourself. You put your life back together on step 6, this step is rest. 

Step 8: Prayer

Jokes, that should be step one - prayerfully considering visitors. But really, if you do find yourself in a pickle, having your girls praying for you makes a difference. Thank you my prayer people. 

Book Report: Mudhouse Sabbath

Blog Sponsor: Sabbath Boredom 

Today is my sabbath. Paul had the morning off, we got massages, we lunched at our new favorite Pakistani restaurant, and we'll sneak off tonight to try a dessert at the new chocolate place across the street. I don't know any non-clergy members who take a day off in the middle of the week. It is all very indulgent isn't it? Only non-important people can take a day off. That's the cultural message. But, lucky for me,  I am used to challenging commonly held beliefs. 

That being said, I will admit that there is a point in every Sabbath where there is a pull to do something "useful". But, then I remember a quote from Lauren Winner's book Mudhouse Sabbath which I read on my Kur three years ago:

The funny thing is I don't really remember the context or what the lesson is, but she says that everyone on the Sabbath gets to the point of "toe-tapping boredom". While my ADHD brain doesn't like boredom, my rational self knows boredom is healthy for adults and kids. For starters, it boosts creativity. Thus, I present belatedly to you my most impressive culinary triumph of 2024:

Zwischen Den Jahren Muffins (based on these Pumpkin Spice Muffins by Sally's Baking Addition)

Zwischen den Jahren is the German Term for the days between Christmas and New Years. It's when you have a lot of half-eaten chocolate Santas, gingerbread house remnants, and unstructured hours with kids at home. This recipe takes all of these ingredients and makes them into something delicious. First a few notes:

My American readers might be kind of impressed that I do so much "scratch baking". Well, it's not because I'm a purist. It's because there isn't Trader Joes and thus no solid baking mixes. I have yet to even find canned pumpkin here. Thus, the first step is roasting a Hokkaido. Scooping out pumpkin gunk and separating seeds is a great task for little hands. 

The original recipe called for a total of 420 grams of flour and sugar mix. I only had 335 grams of cookies so I just added 85 grams of flour to make the right dry ingredients. Thus, I added the chocolate on-top to make sure they were sweet enough. The chocolate frosting could likely be omitted with more blended cookies.

The double boiler should be the last step, but the Santas were first used for chocolate covered strawberries. Without further ado, the receipe:

Ingredients:

• 420 grams of Gingerbread remnants 
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup (120ml) vegetable oil (or melted coconut oil)
• 1 and 1/2 cups (340g) pumpkin puree 
• 2 large eggs
• 1/4 cup (60ml) milk (dairy or nondairy)

1. Preheat oven to 425°F (218°C). 
2. Scoop out pumpkin gunk and cut in .5 in/1 cm slices to roast for 30 minutes until soft. 
3. Spray a 12-count muffin pan with nonstick spray or line with cupcake liners.
4. Grind gingerbread in food processor. Once finely ground, mix in salt and baking soda.  
5. Real cooks would use two bowels but I just add the cooled pumpkin (skin on) to the food processor. After it's puréed add oil, eggs, and milk together until combined. 
6. Spoon the batter into liners, filling them all the way to the top.
7. Bake for 5 minutes at 425°F, then, keeping the muffins in the oven, reduce the oven temperature to 350°F (177°C). Bake for an additional 16–17 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. The total time these muffins take in the oven is about 21–22 minutes, give or take. Allow the muffins to cool for 5 minutes in the muffin pan before enjoying. 
8. Once muffins cool, drizzle santa chocolate over the top. 
9. Cover tightly and store at room temperature for up to 1 week.
10. Tell me how they turned out.

Keep this recipe in your back pocket if you have cookies, chocolate, and hours to kill at Easter. 

Book Report: Dopamine Nation

Last week was one of those weeks. Hugo started feeling warm on last Saturday and produced this on Monday night:

US friends you're allowed to be jealous that these tests cost $3.

So I did what I too often do when the going gets tough. Tune out. Kids played in the background while I did housework listening to this:

The Idea of You was a true escape until it consumed my thoughts about how horribly the book ended. I would instead recommend spending your listening hours, not while kids are around, on this much more edifying book: 

Dr. Anna Lembke, writes from a background as a psychiatrist and personal experience of addiction to...romance novels. Spoiler, the author got a handle on her addiction by leaning in to her work. Although, I would say the author could have just as easily ended her romance novel addiction by reading The Idea of You. That book single handedly ended my interest in the genre. 

In any case, there are so many helpful vignettes in Dopamine Nation and the message is timely. We're all trying to escape right now, are't we? We can talk a big game about there being many time periods of horrible leaders, but actually having to live through "the new age of infamy" is exhausting. 

Also, personally my ADHD brain is especially seeking dopamine. Part of the reason I'm so 'scattered' is because I'm looking for the next dopamine "hit". The place where I get it? Radical honesty. Partly it's my enneagram eight. Give me truth over comfort, every time. I'm bringing this truth into lent this year.  We are making space for joy, but to get there, there will be discomfort. 

Police Officer Please Let me Explain...

You pulled me over because this looks unsafe to you?

Urban bodyboarding - a kissing cousin of 

urban bike tubing

Let me assure you, there was a lot of thought that went into this process. First, can we admit that adults in their 40s should not use bean bag furniture, much less secondhand fatboys? Can we also agree that a closed Kita and a public transportation strike shouldn't deter from this noble quest to find "real" furniture?

I should point out that the first stop was actually to get a bike safety check. IE my husband got a flat tire on the way taking the boys to school so we took the bike to the best bike shop in Berlin this morning. While the bike was in the shop, most of the snow-turned-ice melted. I even planned to avoid the iciest stretch of the route to Ikea by running an errand to pick-up my daughter's new German ID. 

At the risk of seeming ungrateful for our residency status, is this update really necessary? An ID that matches her current passport photo seems pretty unreasonable because when you look at her old passport photo below, it's clear that Carmen has not changed a bit.

But as I was saying, with a safe bike and clear roads we made our way to Ikea. Here I will admit a small error in my planning. I double checked the couch dimensions would fit in the bike. However, I did not confirm enough space for a child to be in the box. Also, we had a lot of swim gear with us. I couldn't let our expedition for furniture interfere with our weekly swimming lesson. #swimsafetyfirst Additionally, the swim bags doubled as cushions on the way to Ikea as the bench was out to fit the couch. In any case, one kid and swim bags worked for the ride to school to pick-up Hugo. 

It worked so well, in fact, that the ride put this unicorn to sleep:

When I arrived at Hugo's school, he jumped up on the couch box and said, "I can ride on top. And, do you have a snack?" Yes, meatball leftovers eaten in ready position.

Boxbike content includes: One cardboard box containing a small Ikea couch, one bag of wetsuits (blast you Putin for freezing Berlin public pools), one generic swim bag, one bag of Ikea odds-and-ends, one Ikea cool bag with three kilos/6 pounds of meatballs, one adult backpack, one kid backpack, one slumbering unicorn, one responsible adult peddling (with motor assist), and one urban boogie (card)boarder.

We did, in-fact, ride a couple blocks with Hugo on top with lots of disapproving looks, one admonishment from a concerned driver, and mercifully no traffic citations. Hugo said, "We'll be fine. Everyone knows you shouldn't wake up a sleeping kid." Then Carmen started to stir so we could do this cozy arrangement. 

The littles and I assembled the couch during one of the sick days last week. I think we can all agree the risk of bodily harm was worth it.

#adulting

Building Ikea furniture is currently Hugo's greatest love. He is available for hire and can be paid in meatballs.

2024 Quotable Quotes

If you need a cry there's this but if you want a laugh then the Biggs littles deliver. Without further ado, the top quotes of last year.

January

- Crosby: “The U-bahn has a special smell called stink.”

- Hugo: “The cookies were too sweet, but I ate two, so our friends didn’t think I didn’t like them.”

- Hugo: “Why is it called Lost Vegas? Because you go there to lose your money?” 

- Hugo: “I’m not going to do sports that could damage your head when I’m bigger. I’ll do yoga.” 

- Carmen smelling incense: “Smells like tacos.”

- Hugo: “Is it called googolplex because it’s so big you have to Google it?” 

February 

- Carmen: “Hugo called me a polack” Me: “What…Oh Poloch (butthole in German)”

- While flying into Milan: Paul: “Look down, that’s what Italy looks like!” Hugo: “It looks way nicer than where we live, there’s no trash.”

- Hugo: "I like my dreams because it’s like watching TV when you’re asleep."

- Me: “Carmen, what’s your favorite fruit?” Carmen: “Hamburger.” Me: “No, fruit” Carmen: “Cucumber.” 

- Hugo “I’m going to give up tofu for lent. When I eat tofu I’m thinking about how much I don’t like tofu and not God.”

- Carmen: “There’s a dog. It has a butt. And a hole.”

- Hugo: “Who do you think Russia will attack next if they win the war in Ukraine?”

- Carmen movie synopsis of Singing in the Rain: “They went into the house. They were dancing in the rain. And they put the cheese in the refrigerator.” 

March

- Hugo to me: “Of course I’d rather spend time with you than my friends.” 

- Crosby: “I like this Bible because it’s so big you forget the stories and can read it over and over.” 

- Hugo while looking at this photo:

    “Wait is that Mom protesting!?!” 

- Hugo: “I’m basically Leonardo DaVinci” 

April

- Hugo: “The Kita trip was a little fun. But between a little fun, and not seeing your parents… I mean, of course you want to see your parents.” 

- Carmen: “I had the hotness yesterday” ie fever 

May

- Hugo: “I’m a gliding hamster.” Paul: “You mean a flying squirrel?”

- Paige: “Maybe you’ll want to marry a woman someday” Hugo: “I don’t want to kiss anyone who’s not in my family.” 

- Paige: “What if I wasn’t helpful?” Hugo: “We’d starve. But if I don’t help it’s not that big of a deal.“ 

- Hugo: “ Crosby do you want some cheesecake? It’s good. Mom didn’t make it.” 

- Carmen: “Girls come out of the vagina and boys come out of the butt” 

- Paul “I lived with roommates.” Carmen: “You never lived with mermaids.” 

June

- Hugo to me: “Take off your shirt so I can snuggle your boobies.”

- Hugo: “I’m gonna miss you more than you’re gonna miss me.”

July

- Hugo to Paul: “Do you like touching mommy’s boobies? Because I created an invention: the secret booby toucher.” (Hands Paul his invention paper and popsicle stick invention.)

- Hugo to me: “You smell better than you usually do. Did you shower today?”

- Carmen: “Where’s Trumpet?” ie Trump 

- Hugo while looking at a fish tank: “Is that fish dead or is it doing yoga?” 

- Hugo to me: “You’re My Google translator” 

August

- Carmen: “I don’t wanna go home. I want to live in the mountains because it’s pretty.”

- Carmen:  “Hugo and Crosby don’t like me.” Me: “Why do you think that?” Carmen: “Because I interrupt them.” Me: “Do you think there’s something you could do to change that?” Carmen: “No. But they’ll like me when I’m older.”

- Paige: “Look there’s a baseball store. But I don’t know if we need anything.” Hugo: “We need cups for our wieners.” 

September

- Robin to Crosby while sorting laundry: “What are these - your mom’s or Carmen’s?”

October

- Hugo on way to Karl’s farm: “Look horses, for horse meat” 

- Carmen “You can’t tell me what to do.” Me: “That’s my job. I’m your mother.” Carmen: “You’re my mommy. You’re not my mother.”

- Deep thoughts on the train to Konstanz

Crosby: “Sheep” 

Carmen: “Crosby said the f word.”

Hugo: “It smells like sweaty pants.” 

- Carmen to Hugo: “Do you want that I break you?” 

November

- Hugo: “I wish I could swim in a pool of mommy.” 

- Hugo while on a Christmas date: “Why are you way nicer than normal today?

December

- Carmen: “Grab my hip. Did you know this is how people used to dance in the olden times?”

- Hugo while eating mint. “If I eat mint, my farts will smell like mint.” Me: I don’t think so. Hugo: “Then why did Andrew tell me that?” 

Plenty more to come from this crew in 2025.