Book Report: Dopamine Nation

Last week was one of those weeks. Hugo started feeling warm on last Saturday and produced this on Monday night:

US friends you're allowed to be jealous that these tests cost $3.

So I did what I too often do when the going gets tough. Tune out. Kids played in the background while I did housework listening to this:

The Idea of You was a true escape until it consumed my thoughts about how horribly the book ended. I would instead recommend spending your listening hours, not while kids are around, on this much more edifying book: 

Dr. Anna Lembke, writes from a background as a psychiatrist and personal experience of addiction to...romance novels. Spoiler, the author got a handle on her addiction by leaning in to her work. Although, I would say the author could have just as easily ended her romance novel addiction by reading The Idea of You. That book single handedly ended my interest in the genre. 

In any case, there are so many helpful vignettes in Dopamine Nation and the message is timely. We're all trying to escape right now, are't we? We can talk a big game about there being many time periods of horrible leaders, but actually having to live through "the new age of infamy" is exhausting. 

Also, personally my ADHD brain is especially seeking dopamine. Part of the reason I'm so 'scattered' is because I'm looking for the next dopamine "hit". The place where I get it? Radical honesty. Partly it's my enneagram eight. Give me truth over comfort, every time. I'm bringing this truth into lent this year.  We are making space for joy, but to get there, there will be discomfort. 

Police Officer Please Let me Explain...

You pulled me over because this looks unsafe to you?

Urban bodyboarding - a kissing cousin of 

urban bike tubing

Let me assure you, there was a lot of thought that went into this process. First, can we admit that adults in their 40s should not use bean bag furniture, much less secondhand fatboys? Can we also agree that a closed Kita and a public transportation strike shouldn't deter from this noble quest to find "real" furniture?

I should point out that the first stop was actually to get a bike safety check. IE my husband got a flat tire on the way taking the boys to school so we took the bike to the best bike shop in Berlin this morning. While the bike was in the shop, most of the snow-turned-ice melted. I even planned to avoid the iciest stretch of the route to Ikea by running an errand to pick-up my daughter's new German ID. 

At the risk of seeming ungrateful for our residency status, is this update really necessary? An ID that matches her current passport photo seems pretty unreasonable because when you look at her old passport photo below, it's clear that Carmen has not changed a bit.

But as I was saying, with a safe bike and clear roads we made our way to Ikea. Here I will admit a small error in my planning. I double checked the couch dimensions would fit in the bike. However, I did not confirm enough space for a child to be in the box. Also, we had a lot of swim gear with us. I couldn't let our expedition for furniture interfere with our weekly swimming lesson. #swimsafetyfirst Additionally, the swim bags doubled as cushions on the way to Ikea as the bench was out to fit the couch. In any case, one kid and swim bags worked for the ride to school to pick-up Hugo. 

It worked so well, in fact, that the ride put this unicorn to sleep:

When I arrived at Hugo's school, he jumped up on the couch box and said, "I can ride on top. And, do you have a snack?" Yes, meatball leftovers eaten in ready position.

Boxbike content includes: One cardboard box containing a small Ikea couch, one bag of wetsuits (blast you Putin for freezing Berlin public pools), one generic swim bag, one bag of Ikea odds-and-ends, one Ikea cool bag with three kilos/6 pounds of meatballs, one adult backpack, one kid backpack, one slumbering unicorn, one responsible adult peddling (with motor assist), and one urban boogie (card)boarder.

We did, in-fact, ride a couple blocks with Hugo on top with lots of disapproving looks, one admonishment from a concerned driver, and mercifully no traffic citations. Hugo said, "We'll be fine. Everyone knows you shouldn't wake up a sleeping kid." Then Carmen started to stir so we could do this cozy arrangement. 

The littles and I assembled the couch during one of the sick days last week. I think we can all agree the risk of bodily harm was worth it.

#adulting

Building Ikea furniture is currently Hugo's greatest love. He is available for hire and can be paid in meatballs.

2024 Quotable Quotes

If you need a cry there's this but if you want a laugh then the Biggs littles deliver. Without further ado, the top quotes of last year.

January

- Crosby: “The U-bahn has a special smell called stink.”

- Hugo: “The cookies were too sweet, but I ate two, so our friends didn’t think I didn’t like them.”

- Hugo: “Why is it called Lost Vegas? Because you go there to lose your money?” 

- Hugo: “I’m not going to do sports that could damage your head when I’m bigger. I’ll do yoga.” 

- Carmen smelling incense: “Smells like tacos.”

- Hugo: “Is it called googolplex because it’s so big you have to Google it?” 

February 

- Carmen: “Hugo called me a polack” Me: “What…Oh Poloch (butthole in German)”

- While flying into Milan: Paul: “Look down, that’s what Italy looks like!” Hugo: “It looks way nicer than where we live, there’s no trash.”

- Hugo: "I like my dreams because it’s like watching TV when you’re asleep."

- Me: “Carmen, what’s your favorite fruit?” Carmen: “Hamburger.” Me: “No, fruit” Carmen: “Cucumber.” 

- Hugo “I’m going to give up tofu for lent. When I eat tofu I’m thinking about how much I don’t like tofu and not God.”

- Carmen: “There’s a dog. It has a butt. And a hole.”

- Hugo: “Who do you think Russia will attack next if they win the war in Ukraine?”

- Carmen movie synopsis of Singing in the Rain: “They went into the house. They were dancing in the rain. And they put the cheese in the refrigerator.” 

March

- Hugo to me: “Of course I’d rather spend time with you than my friends.” 

- Crosby: “I like this Bible because it’s so big you forget the stories and can read it over and over.” 

- Hugo while looking at this photo:

    “Wait is that Mom protesting!?!” 

- Hugo: “I’m basically Leonardo DaVinci” 

April

- Hugo: “The Kita trip was a little fun. But between a little fun, and not seeing your parents… I mean, of course you want to see your parents.” 

- Carmen: “I had the hotness yesterday” ie fever 

May

- Hugo: “I’m a gliding hamster.” Paul: “You mean a flying squirrel?”

- Paige: “Maybe you’ll want to marry a woman someday” Hugo: “I don’t want to kiss anyone who’s not in my family.” 

- Paige: “What if I wasn’t helpful?” Hugo: “We’d starve. But if I don’t help it’s not that big of a deal.“ 

- Hugo: “ Crosby do you want some cheesecake? It’s good. Mom didn’t make it.” 

- Carmen: “Girls come out of the vagina and boys come out of the butt” 

- Paul “I lived with roommates.” Carmen: “You never lived with mermaids.” 

June

- Hugo to me: “Take off your shirt so I can snuggle your boobies.”

- Hugo: “I’m gonna miss you more than you’re gonna miss me.”

July

- Hugo to Paul: “Do you like touching mommy’s boobies? Because I created an invention: the secret booby toucher.” (Hands Paul his invention paper and popsicle stick invention.)

- Hugo to me: “You smell better than you usually do. Did you shower today?”

- Carmen: “Where’s Trumpet?” ie Trump 

- Hugo while looking at a fish tank: “Is that fish dead or is it doing yoga?” 

- Hugo to me: “You’re My Google translator” 

August

- Carmen: “I don’t wanna go home. I want to live in the mountains because it’s pretty.”

- Carmen:  “Hugo and Crosby don’t like me.” Me: “Why do you think that?” Carmen: “Because I interrupt them.” Me: “Do you think there’s something you could do to change that?” Carmen: “No. But they’ll like me when I’m older.”

- Paige: “Look there’s a baseball store. But I don’t know if we need anything.” Hugo: “We need cups for our wieners.” 

September

- Robin to Crosby while sorting laundry: “What are these - your mom’s or Carmen’s?”

October

- Hugo on way to Karl’s farm: “Look horses, for horse meat” 

- Carmen “You can’t tell me what to do.” Me: “That’s my job. I’m your mother.” Carmen: “You’re my mommy. You’re not my mother.”

- Deep thoughts on the train to Konstanz

Crosby: “Sheep” 

Carmen: “Crosby said the f word.”

Hugo: “It smells like sweaty pants.” 

- Carmen to Hugo: “Do you want that I break you?” 

November

- Hugo: “I wish I could swim in a pool of mommy.” 

- Hugo while on a Christmas date: “Why are you way nicer than normal today?

December

- Carmen: “Grab my hip. Did you know this is how people used to dance in the olden times?”

- Hugo while eating mint. “If I eat mint, my farts will smell like mint.” Me: I don’t think so. Hugo: “Then why did Andrew tell me that?” 

Plenty more to come from this crew in 2025.

How to: Work in the Workout

The first question I get when I round-up random kids to do something like (below) is:

"How do you stay so fit?" Jokes. Nonetheless, I'll tell you how I check exercise off my daily to-do list. 

There was a time long, long ago when I was sporty for the fun of it. These days what I really need is accountability. The first step is to have a work-out buddy. In an ideal world it's your partner. If your partner needs motivation to join you, I recommend working out in your underwear and/or offering an enticing "cool-down". You're welcome husbands. If a partner isn't part of the current constellation, then finding your personal motivation is crucial. 

Our weekday mornings are all hands-on-deck to get the boys out the door. Once they are out at 7:15, Carmen unloads the dishwasher, and then she gets screen time while Paul and I do one of the following 20ish minute work-outs:

Matt Cordell - he does a lot of varied moves. Some require modifications (ahem push-ups) but mostly doable. His 20-Day Program is great. 

Growing Ananas - warning so many squats. Paul really doesn't like doing this many squats but they are a must for ski conditioning. This back to basics series seems intriguing. 

When we don't have a lot in the tank - we do a Happy Back Challenge - we bought the hip and back series and yoga blocks and straps. After we stretch we do a five minute ab video. We've been happy with Madfit and Jibby. 

On the rare mornings that I'm on my own, I opt for a Bosu ball work-out as I need to work on my stabilizing muscles. Paul doesn't love the Bosu ball and we only have one, so I drool over watch this guy or this guy.

On the weekends, I'm the lone mom doing a 10 minute HITT workout with my ear buds in while my kids run around at the park. Standing workouts with repeat reps like this one work best. #thatmom 

In addition to planned workout, I sneak in a little extra movement where I can. If I'm cold in my apartment I do a quick warm-up with the Fitness Marshall. I heard about him from a PDX friend's travel website. I couldn't find specifically where, although her post on staying fit during travel is helpful if you're on the road. 

When I've run out of mindless domestic tasks and want to continue to progress in my latest classy audio book, I'll stretch, use a foam roller, or balance on one foot while listening. Speaking of which, just finished this one last week:

My current favorite ADHD analogy from the book below is that the ADHD brain is like a first generation electric car. It is very cool and innovative but has no gas back-up and needs to recharge frequently.

I need exercise to recharge. And thus, workout buddies. I'm always interested in a walk or yoga. Stay active my friends.

Austria: go for the landscape, leave because of the politics

Team Biggs is looking to relocate to a calmer city with easy access to skiing. We ruled out Konstanz this fall break. As we rolled into the station, our chatty seat mate said, "Look mountains! Don't expect to see those between November and February." Turns out Konstanz is the Monterey of Germany - beautiful when you can see a few feet in-front of your face. We also learned that night trains are not a reasonable means of transportation for travelers over 25 years of age nor old souls like Crosby. 

Cozy

We had two Austrian cities on our list: Innsbruck and Salzburg. Both of these cities are beautiful. 

Exhibit A: View from Fortress Hohensalzburg

German friends would often remark, "Austria is very conservative" when I'd mention our plans to move. I would respond, "everywhere is conservative compared to Berlin." But then after months of continuing to dismiss friends who are better informed than me, I did some googling and was horrified. 

"Conservative" is not the word I would use to describe the recently elected political party founded in the 1950s by a senior officer in Hitler’s elite paramilitary SS. We didn't leave the US' flavor of racism to move to a country whose leader is, like Hitler once was, referred to as “the people’s chancellor” by his party. Hard pass.

This is when everyone says, "Switzerland". But it's not part of the EU. So, our current short list is Freiburg and Munich. Freiburg is where all the cool kids hang out, which is to say it's even harder to find an apartment there than Berlin. Munich is uncertain as we were hoping for a smaller university town. We'll be checking out both in April.

Back to Austria, this year's ski trip was double duty - skiing in Leogang for a week and then scouting-out Salzburg for a night. We did this trip right, which is to say, it actually felt like a vacation. The most important part of any vacation is childcare. We learned our lesson from Lermoos, and stayed on the mountain right in-front of the ski school meet-up.  This is the first time we had three kids who could do all day ski school without needing to nap*. 

But if they did nap, the reward was pre-dinner swimming in our hotel's infinity pool. 

The kids really wanted to try night skiing but without any new snow, we told them it wouldn't be worth it. But one night we convinced them to nap to have energy for one of the most epic sledding adventures of all time.

        Gondola ride up and then 4 km/ 2.5 mile ride down. 

This being Europe, the ride down was super dangerous with guardrails only half the piste. Paul got some Gopro video evidence that he'll be posting to insta. Carmen and I crashed a few times and weren't nearly as fast as the boys, so they went into a bar for hot chocolate while waiting for us. 

Kids at Apres Ski = European. Your mom horrifying you with her dance moves = international.

Hugo's lungs still hadn't recovered from the most recent Kita virus and I was fighting a head headcold, so we head back to the room to snuggle while these brave souls went for another lap.

Another key component to a vacation is having a break from cooking. Breakfast and dinner were taken care of at our half pension hotel. The 5:30 dinner start time was a much welcome change from last year's Italian schedule. The kids had lunch with ski school while Paul and I enjoyed date lunches of Austrian cuisine with a view. 

We traveled to Leogang via train and then just a five minute taxi to the hotel. Sure, we had 13 bags to shuffle on three train connections but I'd say it's worth it for no airport security nor traffic.

Families who melt their brains together stay together.

We made it back to Berlin healthy-ish with some ski bragging rights.

Second place race time for Hugo in his ski group. Small victories.

Book Report: Bad Mormon

I don't know how this book found me, but it was fascinating.  

Growing up in the US, we all had Mormon friends - in school, dance classes, sports, piano, etc. These Mormon kids did all the things and did them well. We knew that they had some wacky traditions - the special underwear, secret temple traditions, etc. This book will give you the inside scoop on all of it. The book devolves in the end into reality TV nonsense but it's still palatable. 

Overall the book left me feeling very grateful that I was not born into a religion where the ultimate goal is to be a perfect housewife. I can't think of a worse environment for a woman with a big personality and ADHD. A gentle reminder of my personal freedoms is very welcome in these times of far-right political nonsense. Stay sane my friends.

How To: Holland Park

Not to toot my own horn, but I crushed the boys' Christmas gift. In leu of presents we give the kids experiences. I was humming and hawing about making a push to go to Holland Park on the boys' parent teacher conference day in November. But, after Robin told the kids they have a "fun mom" I felt like I needed to keep up the act.

Holland Park is a Dutch themed amusement park. In keeping with my summer vibe - we got to 'travel' without really leaving Berlin. In fact, we even biked there.

Biking in the outskirts of Berlin is dicey in that it's hard to know if you'll be riding on the road with cars. Nevertheless, I wagered that there had to be dedicated bike paths - I mean the park is Dutch themed after all. And oh, did the bike paths deliver - so flat, so uncrowded.

The key to this adventure, and to other crowded Berlin places like Tropical Islands, is you have to go when your particular school is closed but other Berlin schools are in session. Otherwise this place might be my nightmare. But as Holland Park was mostly empty, we had the climbing structures to ourselves. Thus, I could take 400 pictures of the cutest butt you've seen in a harness.

After we climbed until we couldn't grip, we head outside to this crazy slide tower: 

The boys did laps while I enjoyed a delicious cappuccino and a trip through the gift shop to get Stroopwafels and salted carmel chews. It was then that Hugo asked, "why are you being so nice to us." Christmas magic right there.

Not pictured is a very large, very randomly numbered, mini golf course. We were literally the only ones out there. We couldn't stay as long as we wanted however, because my phone was dying. Four hours wasn't enough to do this place justice. But, I didn't bring a charger and wanted a little bit of daylight for navigating the ride home by memory.

While I avoid crowds like the plague, I'd happily go back with any visitors who make the trek to visit us. Real Berlin (and themed Holland) await. 

An Open Book

I, like many US citizens, see the 'Patriot Act' of 2001 as an invasion of privacy. Although, looking through someone's library records does tell a lot about a person. 

Wow, Paige finished this book in a few days:

And these ones in just two days:

Hum, but she's not moving very quickly on this one:

Spoiler: it's because I'm taking so many notes.

A lot of these tween parenting books give tips about how to get your child to open up to you. We all know "How's it going?" doesn't usually get you a real answer even with adults. But, I learned a new trick about how to get the scoop from my friend Ana at the Kita Christmas party. If you see your friend looking sad or happy just declare it. Hearing, "you look horrible," gave me permission to get out some of my pent-up tears. Which, is a good segue to why I was crying again this morning in the Kita.

I just found out that one of our beloved Kita teachers, Judy, died of cancer a month ago. In the last couple years she'd moved to the Kita around the corner so I'd had fewer daily interactions with her. The parents at the Kita around the corner knew that she was sick and died, but the news wasn't public at our Kita as most of the current kids never had the pleasure of having Judy as a teacher.

Like most of the teachers at Kita, I didn't know her well. I knew she was about my age and moved to Berlin for a boy. She was kind and bubbly. She was forgiving when Hugo started a revolt on an Ubahn while on a Kita field-trip. Just last week we were looking at Crosby's Kita picture album and Carmen pointed to her and said "That's Judy." Carmen knew her, even though she'd only met her a handful of times at joint Kita field-trips.

There are some jobs where you can fake enthusiasm or be motivated enough by renumeration to do the work. However, anyone who chooses to be a preschool teacher does it out of love. I am grateful for the love Judy poured out to my kids over their collective seven years at Kita. I wish I'd had the chance to tell her one last time how thankful I am. Instead we'll be sending a video to her grieving mom in Colombia of the kids singing a song. We were blessed to have Judy in our lives. We will miss her beautiful smile and warmth.