Lost in Translation

Feb 17, 2022

Me (through google translate): "Alla, are you sure that it's safe to go back to Ukraine right now?"

Alla: "Ok."

Alla and I weren't the only ones surprised on February 24th when it wasn't ok to be in Ukraine. I have no idea how she returned to Berlin, but on February 27th she was back with two family friends on the way. In the mean time, I casually mentioned Alla and what we should do to two of the coolest people I know:

Gen: Seen here further solidifying Crosby's epic babysitter crush.

Shannon: Seen here saving my sanity...again.

They talked to people and posted an ad on instagram connecting me with some good temporary housing options. These generous people were going to be out of town and were happy to provide their homes.

Alla came over on the first of March to strategize. Alla gave up her room in Berlin to her friend, Lena, who was filling in for while Alla's clients while Alla was planning to be back in Ukraine visiting family for three months. Now, in addition to needing a place to live, Alla also wanted to make sure her friends were taken care of. During the course of the conversation, it was clear to me that coming to our house made the most sense. I figured that heading to our place where we have kids, instead of an empty apartment, would be helpful for moms. Furthermore, I googled and found the average Ukrainian makes around $1,500 a year, so food was going to be crazy expensive. I figured at the very least I could feed them and help them save some money. The next temporary apartment option would be on the 15th of March, so we figured two weeks here would be a good start.

Alla called her friend Olga who said she would be in Berlin that night. With Shannon's help we had this cozy room set-up for five ladies, two moms - Olga and Nata (as the men are not allowed to leave), one 12 year-old Maria, one 11 year-old Katja, and one almost seven year old Kristl:

Carmen still managed to weave around the beds in her usual 'naked from the waist down' look at 5:20 am to surprise Nata. #nottheritz

My first fail was thinking that we could put a sign on Nata's dashboard that said "Ukrainian Refugee" to avoid stoking the around the clock meter. She got a 20 Euro ticket. But, the Berlin city administration issued me a guest parking pass in absolute record time. Shout out to my neighbor Nele who in addition to working, helping me figure out refugee paperwork, making her own art for her apartment, and mothering makes things like this:

Gratuitous food porn: not pictured homemade horn and ears to officially make them unicorn cupcakes. Per usual, food distracts me...

When I came home from test riding a new bike (another distraction), Olga was talking to a woman named Susann on the phone. I have no idea what Susann's connection is to Olga other than she know's Olga's adult daughter who lives in Berlin. Susann offered to help with the paperwork side of things and come over to chat after dinner.

After dinner, Susann arrived as an angel with a freshly made bunt cake. Olga and Nata came down with their one bag that they brought in ready to head out the door. I said, "Wait, are you guys going to stay with Susann?" They said, "No, we found an apartment in Spandau."

Wait, what? You guys stayed one night and you already found an apartment for 2-3 months? When the ladies said they didn't want to bring in their bags because they figured they would be leaving for something more permanent in a day our two I said, "Anything to do with paperwork here always takes longer than you think." I am happy to be proven wrong.

I learned a lot from this furious 27 hours. Firstly, while I want to be a super awesome hostess, it definitely put a strain on my relationship with my kids. I was just so distracted running around, that I wasn't available for them in any way emotionally. Second, even if I was navigating paperwork in my native language, it requires following directions, which we know from my baking isn't my strong suit. Thirdly, while my kids provide great snuggle therapy, they don't create a necessarily restful environment. 

Less than an hour after arrival, Carmen was in cuddle mode.

OK, before you're like, "What have you done with my over confident friend/family member Paige?" This is what I can do: I can write. I can connect people. I can pray. I can encourage people who want to "do something" to donate money to people like my friend Leah who is moving mountains to build infrastructure for Ukrainians to start a new life in Hungary. I can conscript my kids to make art for Alla and Lena.

Plain pots + Acrylic Paints from Papa + Flower = Winning.

My biggest take-home from this humbling and beautiful experience is this: if the men of Ukraine are half as resourceful as the women, this war will go poorly for Putin.