Book Report: Fair Play

In the spirit of Fair Play, Paul is taking care of his crew:

Naxos, Greece with the OG Biggs

I'm enjoying time with mine:

Top of the Frauenkirche in Dresden with Linda and Dan

I've also had a few glorious days alone in our house. My original parenting break goal was to spend some time in my "Unicorn Space". Unicorn Space is the name the author of Fair Play, Eve Rodsky, uses to describe an activity that gives you life. My Unicorn Space is trying to make Paul laugh through blogging. Although like many tired parents, I've spent a lot of time vegging out this week instead of writing. I've seen two Jennifer Lopez movies this week. Hustlers did not disappoint. #noregrets

Back to Fair Play - the goal is to find an equitable balance of domestic tasks. Rodsky defined 100 tasks, each represented by a card, to be dealt between partners. Some cards we could take out of play - no holiday cards coming from us anytime soon. Some tasks we split to make two cards. 'Bathing and Grooming (kids)' is Paul taking care of 'hair and nails' and me monitoring bathing 'frequency'. 

Mohawk: check

Our playing board looked like this before our trip to the US:

Some cards one person will likely always hold. Paul holds the 'Electronics and IT' card. I hold the 'Extracurricular' card - much to the kids' chagrin. The piano battle with Crosby and theater battle for Hugo rage on. 

Hugo tongue out = intense concentration or not-so-subtle participation defiance. Just five classes left but who's counting?

Other cards will be traded depending on the situation. Paul is the official travel planner, and traveler, until further notice. 

It's a tough task, but Paul soldiers on.

Ideally we look over the week ahead and re-deal cards as necessary every Friday evening when the kids are in bed. This is also the time when we schedule tasks in our calendars. Putting tasks in the calendar was Paul's idea. 

Has family harmony been restored? No. Did we ever have family harmony? Not since moving to Germany. However, the Fair Play system has helped us improve our task balance and better model for the kids. 

Before Fair Play, I mostly kept in touch with Paul's parents. I'm already sensitive to the fact that Paul and I are unintentionally in traditional gender roles. But, the mom being the sole parent maintaining contact with family was unacceptable. Paul is more than making up for the family communication break-down this week while continuing to hold the 'memories and photo' card.

This is the look of boys with an understanding of equitable mental load distribution.