Book Report: Burnout, Coming Home, and Taste

Whenever I talk with people who are beaten down by the news, I tell them about my morning routine. Paul and I stretch to Steven Colbert's most recent monologue. We then complete a HIIT work-out. The rigorous exercise after the news flushes the fight or flight hormones to "complete the stress cycle" as the Nagoski twins explain in their book Burnout.

I started reading this book back in 2022 upon the recommendation of one of the least burnt out people I know. Also, Beff is one of the most badass people alive. Here she is carrying-on all the possessions she brought with her for a year living abroad with her family in Malaga.  

I got about half-way through the book and then stalled out a bit in the chapters about body positivity. After all, my last clothing purchase was a white sequined jumpsuit. I don't have to remind myself that I am "the new hotness". 

We just are.

As an aside, I give my mom full credit for my positive body image. She was very confident about her own appearance, which is actually the best indicator about how a daughter will feel about her own body. Also, through finally finishing the book, I now realize that the quote I hear in my head, "smart women don't stay home" is likely falsely attributed to her. It rather came from my "madwoman in the attic". Showing gratitude also helps with burnout.  #thanksmom

The flip side of healthy media boundaries is that I sometimes miss important stories. I remember reading the headline of the US/Russia prisoner swap of WNBA star Britney Griner for the 'Merchant of Death'. While watching the summer Olympics with Kiki, I saw Britney Griner on the screen and I commented, "Can you believe that swap?" Kiki respectfully gave me a brief backstory and BG filled me in the rest.

If I were a high school teacher, this book would be required reading. There is a message in here for everyone. However, just like the news, I would not recommend reading Coming Home in the evening.  It's so engaging that you'll stay up past your bedtime. For completing end-of-day domestic duties, I would suggest Stanley Tucci's Taste.  

This book will not put you to sleep but later it will have you dreaming of Timpano. Also, if you're anything like me, you'll be grateful that you're not sharing a bed with a foodie. Italian cooking has soooo many steps and courses. I love listening to a good story while chopping but I also have other things I like to do....like sleep. Speaking of which, I need to put this little kitchen helper to bed.

Bonus points if you can identify this protein source.

Stay sane my friends. 

Fall Break 2025

Psychiatrist: “How often do you fly back to the USA with your family?”

Me: “Every two years.”

Psychiatrist: “Maybe you could make it every three.”

We split the difference, with 2.5 years between our last visit, because Halloween fell during fall break this year. A few things happened since our last Halloween stateside,

namely Crosby is out of his Batman phase.

Also, we have two sets of grandparents in Arizona. Our first stop was Papa and Coco in Mesa, outside of Phoenix. The sun coupled with a backyard pool and Coco's cooking is great for getting over the nine-hour time difference between Central European Timezone and Mountain Standard Time.

As is carving pumpkins while wearing an Elsa wig that mostly looks like a silver mullet.

While maybe not a specific jet lag cure, Hugo's watermelon helmet deserves an honorable mention. 

As does his new love of Slurpees. 

From Mesa, our paths diverged. Paul took the kids to his parents' house outside of Tucson, AZ while I went to hang with two of my favorite people. I took no pictures of my time with Kiki nor Karissa, but here they are looking fabulous a little over 13 years ago. 

I did, however, take a picture of this at the newly renovated PDX airport. 

Did I miss something? Did people visiting Portland not know that you shouldn't drink water out of the toilet?

Anywho, from PDX I flew directly to Palm Springs while Paul did an epic six-hour road trip through the desert with lots of this:

But our welcome at Mimi's and delicious dinner of steak and salmon with a guest appearance from KK made the drive worth it. 

Right Paul?

After a short and sweet visit we were off to San Diego to visit the Mathewson crew. The original plan was to go to Legoland California but we found that Crosby just recently aged out of legomania. He did, however, show a sliver of interest in surfing. 

These shakas don't lie.

We all got up, but style points again awarded to...

Surfing was just the start of a most amazing San Diego visit including but not limited to...

Avocado toast with our beloved emotional support toddler who according to Hugo "looks like she could be part of our family."
\

Boogie boarding followed by

Beach burritos

Robin getting suckered into some crafting project by Hugo (just like last year in Berlin)

A brief intro to animal husbandry

And the pièce de résistance...Halloween! The Mathewson's threw a party for 20ish of their dearest with games

The kids then divided and conquered trick-or-treating. The littles went with Laurel and Paul.

Our chicken went off with Gem's middle school buddies.

I, as Rosie the Riveter, stayed back and chatted with Colin's parents while trick-or-treaters came by.

The haul was considerable:

18 pounds/8 Kilos to be exact

At this point in the trip, the boys head back to Berlin for school but the girls' took advantage of Carmen's last year of freedom to head to Hawaii for Carmen to meet her cousin Constance. When I checked in to the hotel the reception asked if we were celebrating anything. I said, "Well my anniversary is tomorrow. But, I don't think it really counts when my husband is at work and I'm in paradise." Am I a horrible wife? Maybe. Am I an awesome mom?

Ask Carmen.

There was beach, pool, kayaking, paddle boarding, snorkeling with turtles, boogie boarding, and delicious food with people we love. I don't want to make anyone too jealous because Carmen's and my tans speak for themselves. But, this photo pretty much sums it up.

After Paul's harrowing 40th birthday return from Hawaii with two red eyes in a row, we opted to layover in San Francisco for a night. We planned for a hang with tio David starting with breakfast burritos on the water. 

Our "hang" developed into a "errand hang" because my suitcase broke beyond repair and then the new one we found needed to be filled with Trader Joes goodies. #lemonsintolemonaid

We got on the plane the day before travel chaos ensued in the US. It's the kind of trip that makes you think, "I should do this more often." And then, I introduce to you what we shall henceforth call "rainbow sleep". 

My apple watch shows me the breakdown of REM, core, and deep sleep. When Carmen gets in my bed in the middle of the night neither my watch, nor I, know what to call it. It's all the things, and none of them. It's just a block.

Jokes aside, it was an amazing trip. I'm so grateful to all of our friends and family who welcomed us and made it all possible. Specifically, a big thank you to Paul's parents who did all the things while I got my face sand blasted with Kiki for her (early) birthday and confirmed that Cycling Frogs is not my cup of tea with Karissa. Also, a special shout out to Paul and Colin who did things like take all the kids to Sea World so Laurel and I could drink matcha lattes and then be vigorously scrubbed down by hard working Korean ladies. #healthyglow

We miss you all already. We'll see you all again in two years. 

Expat Life: Reading in English

I had the thought yesterday, "I bet Crosby has read more books at 11 than I've read in my entire life." While he's away at Autostadt (today with a one dad per three kid ratio for a total of 11 other people), I did a little sleuthing on his Libby library app which is conveniently connected to both the PDX and Berlin public libraries. (Expat tip: There might be ways to get memberships to other US-based libraries without physically going into the library. We just have PDX because we pay taxes there - and honestly we might get our money's worth through the library alone.)

I'd say the majority of Crosby's reading selections before 2024, so the first 800ish, were comic books and graphic novels. This month he's on track to read 20 chapter books. Most of the books are on Libby with a couple physical chapter books from the library. I also sometimes fill in the gaps with my favorite used book retailer, medimops, to spare Crosby the agony of the long library wait. 

We've tried to use Kindle unlimited to get some books that weren't available at the library but the licensing here leaves much to be desired. We also don't love the Kindle user experience. Why is it so hard to buy a book and then get it on the Kindle? Crosby mostly reads on his iPad, but we do load books on his Kindle for when he's reading in public. It's partly because a Kindle makes a kid appear "more available" to other kids for playing and partly to avoid public shaming (appearance of kids on screens). 

His bilingual public elementary school separates kids into "mother tongue" German and Spanish. The kids learn to read in their "mother tongue" in first grade. I jumped the gun, much to his first German teacher's chagrin, and started teaching him to read in English while he was in his last year of Kita using the book Teach Your Child Read in 100 Easy Lessons. 

Why did I teach Crosby to read instead of waiting until he started learning English in school in the fifth grade? He expressed interest in reading. Additionally, I'm not really a "playtime mom". I'm more of a "teach-you-life-skills mom". Reading together definitely scratched that itch and it was generally positive one-on-one time together. But let's be honest, the person who really taught Crosby to read was the author Dav Pilkey. Crosby and I got half-way through the reading book and then Dogman genius took him the rest of the way.

Since that time, I text my bestie periodically for the next good read. Here are our best hits in general reading order (mostly from Laurel but sometimes from other kids):

More Dav Pilkey: Cat Kid Comic Club, Super Diaper Baby

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney (fun for adults too)

Tom Gates Series by Liz Pichon

Captain Underpants (Still Dav Pilkey but there's a big jump from Dogman to Captain Underpants)

Bad Guys by Aaron Blabey (This is a rare exception where the movies are better than the books. But the books still entertain.)

Geronimo Stilton by Elisabetta Dami (This is originally in Italian but can be found in all the languages.)

Anything Chris Colfer: Start with the Land of Stories and then move on to the other 14 books he's written in the last 10 years. The man is a legend. 

Anything by Stuart Gibbs: Start with Spy School and go from there.

We generally try to read books in English if that is the original language of publication. However, Crosby's teacher suggested more reading in German to improve his vocabulary. He is considered native German as his German is stronger than his Spanish although of course he doesn't get much German at casa Biggs. He was into the Duftapoteka series although the author's other books were less of a hit. 

Hugo sometimes feels a bit left out as reading chapter books is still out of reach. He asks us to ban reading so that Crosby will play with him. Sometimes something will pull Crosby out of a book, for example, building a new Lego set. 

New Mom win - renting Legos with rent-a-project. They get played with for two weeks and then they are out of our house.

Hugo and I are still chugging along in his reading book. It takes twice as long as we need to divide the lessons in two because Hugo inherited my attention span.

Pairs well with Kaffee and Kuchen

We told Hugo the old adage, "If you can't beat them, join 'em." So he's turning to audio books. Here he is power listening (head on iPad) to Harry Potter while waiting for me to reschedule his allergy appointment because he caught his first school cold of the year.

The dude can listen for hours. It's making the upcoming many sick days seem (a little) less daunting.

The littles also have weekly reading times with some of our favorite people across the pond through the App Caribu. The set-up is annoying as it is intentionally confusing so grandparents think they need a paid membership when really they can just use ours (not cool Mattel). However, Caribu has some really great books and some lame ones that only grandparents are kind enough to endure.  

Hugo can get all the Biology lessons from his science teacher grandmother. Then Crosby has her read to him on FaceTime while Paul and I snuggle the two littles to bed. It's kind of like having three parents at bedtime...kind of.

Our new-ish discovery is the "Read-along" options on Libby (not really available at Berlin's VOBB). Sometimes the books can be a bit glitchy but Carmen generally gets her fill of unicorn books read to her when another reader isn't available. Here's a little screenshot of what could get you an hour of guilt free quiet in your house. 

You'll also want to select the correct languages. Otherwise, Carmen ends up listening to a lot of Mandarin language books.

We generally caught a real parenting break in the reading department. Crosby has forbidden me from reading any more books with him on puberty or books that have the potential to inspire. Sigh. (Pro tip: You've got to work in the puberty/sex books in before age 10.) His favorite reading partner is his dad. Paul happily dives into all of the fantasy stuff that isn't my jam. 

I have a grand plan to do some creative writing with Crosby this year but our weekly Tuesday afternoon date is mostly filled with studying. If you can believe it, we're mostly studying English. The dude inherited my spelling abilities, so we're learning together. As you can see from a recent study date, it's not all work around here.

Also pairs well with Kuchen. 

Book Report: Surprised by Joy

My beloved Anne Lemott mentioned a quote by C.S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy, his closest to an autobiography:

While I do most everything Anne tells me to do, I asked myself many times during this snoozefest of an audiobook, "Why am I reading this?". And then, bam, one of my favorite quotes of all time.

C.S. Lewis' childhood perception of adulthood: "Incessant drudgery under the threat of financial ruin."

This quote became a battle cry of sorts for me. While I will continue to parrot almost daily real truths to my kids about life. 

"It is not fair." 

"When we're so focused on what others have, it robs us of being grateful what we do have." 

"God doesn't promise us an easy life, only that we won't be alone in the hard stuff." 

Yes, there is drudgery. Yes, there can be financial ruin. But there are also:

Unicorns

Learning how to avoid getting arrested

S'mores

Stockbrot (literally stick bread)

Bouncy Mounds

And that's just all in one church retreat weekend. Parents - model that joy. Otherwise, your kids might turn out to be C.S. Lewis.

Book Report: Hallelujah Anyway

I'm slowly but surely making my way through this book:

We've got some third culture issues around here. Or maybe it's neurodiversity or maybe it's a combo. In any case, this book feels like work. I listened while getting my nails done as my usual manicure partners were not along for the ride, to varying degrees of disappointment.

That's his "I'm loving this" face.

After an hour of listening and taking notes about third culture kids, I was like, "can I just have something uplifting?" Once again, Anne Lamott delivers.

This chapter hit close to home.

I don't have to look far for my last dose of mercy. Paul looked at me after a week of juggling kids between his parents and declared, "I'm going to take the kids away for a night." What ensued was the best birthday ever.

There was a day of church, leisurely lunching, and frappuccinos with these girls:

POV: The look of moms whose kids are being cared for by spouses.

Followed by an evening of phone calls with some of my favorite people and a magical night of salsa dancing. Before you think I'm a monster who doesn't want to be with my family, I would like to mention there was a special pre-party put together by Bal with the help of some of my favorite little neighbors.

Rainbow cake flex

I was trying to fly a bit more under the radar this birthday as exactly a week later was the ten-year anniversary of loosing my mom to cancer. Nevertheless, celebrating my birthday with two close friends whose mothers are currently terminally ill with cancer felt much more "Hallelujah Anyway". And these people seemed quite ok without me.