How To: Staatsangehörigkeitangelegenheiten

If you think the news from the US is crazy, can you believe Germany just naturalized these four unemployed people?

And two of them don't even follow the basic instruction to look at the camera in their native language.

A few stars had to align for dual citizenship to even be an option for our family:

• The former traffic light coalition government made it easier to become a German citizen by cutting the residency time from eight to five years.
• Prior to June 2024, only European citizens and a handful of others could be dual citizens of Germany. 
• In January 2024 the city of Berlin digitized and centralized the citizenship process. We have multiple friends who applied years ago by paper and continue to wait.

Our citizenship plan was almost three years in the making. Let's take a walk down memory lane shall we...

January 2023 - Paul took a seven-month, unpaid parental leave with the goal of learning German. Correction - it was my goal that he learn German. I learned that Paul, and some Bigglets who shall remain nameless, can do anything they put their minds to. However, if they aren't truly invested then I need to prepare for battle (for example pushing music for kids) or disappointment (for example German for Paul).

June 2023 - Paul and I dominated the citizenship test - both scoring 29 out of 30. 

June 2024 - I finally take my B1 language test in an effort to distract myself from the upcoming US election. I also had a breif meeting with our relocation consultant to see if she had any hot tips or info. 

December 2024 - We decide to apply without Paul. Paul didn't attain the necessary language proficiency. 

mid-July 2025 - We received an email request for current grades for Crosby, language tests for Hugo and Carmen, and paystubs for me (ahem Paul). I sent everything back in two days.

July 31 2025 - I received an invitation for citizenship with a pre-selected date of August 7th. Luckily we're not fully German yet, so we're in town in August. 

August 7 2025 - learned some new words through this oath 

For my fellow expats wanting to follow suit, the first step is scheduling the citizenship test. I believe this process has changed but is likely still overly complicated. We were so stoked that we managed to get a test date that we even took this commemorative photo in the random community college in Reinickendorf where we returned three months later for the test.

There are a few resources online to explain the process. But generally, the best advice is to submit an entirely complete application instead of following up with test results, etc as they come in. I'd also submit a cover letter if there's anything in your application that you would like to highlight and/or explain. For example, I highlighted that I have a masters degree from the Charité. I then explained why I'm not using it.  I also exhibited some good judgement by not showing-up for the final appointement wearing a dirndl.

It still only comes out on the occasional Halloween.

It's fitting that our citizenship came through in August which is my month of all the feels. It's my birthday month and it's also the month I said goodbye to my mom ten years ago. One of the last things my mom whispered to me as she was dying was, "I'm going to miss you." If my mom was still alive, we never would have moved to Germany. We took this opportunity to have an adventure because we could. But, I think like many people who immigrate, we wish things were better in our home countries. In summary, I'm very thankful to be a dual citizen. Also, now you know why I'm a little melancholy.

Nevertheless, we celebrated our new citizenship in the most logical way possible:

Döners - Immigrants best contribution to Germany?

Mild Home Make-over

Whilst Crosby was away on his annual weeklong school sleep-away camp, I had the crazy idea, "Maybe an 11 year-old should have his own bed."

 It's hard to give-up creepy, snuggle, sleep photo-ops but motherhood demands sacrifice.

As is my nature, I sketched up some elaborate plan that included what I will call the "Narnia door" whereby Crosby would enter through a hole cut-out through the closet. Paul, in his wisdom, suggested a much simpler version. We moved the huge Ikea Pax closet from the wall to the middle of the room to create a second "room" for Crosby.

You might notice that sweet robot shelf with eyes to the left. Paul thought having a shelf next to my desk would help with organization. #neurotypical But, just look how much fun we had bringing it home:

At this point, I figured I should stop bugging Paul and bring in our Berlin Uncle Andrew. It turned out to be excellent timing, because the box bike has its limits and Andrew has a Miles Van Rental Account.

Andrew and I bike/walked the bookshelf. Hauling the bunk required a van. 

My adoring fans are asking, tell me more about that fortress: 

We found a use for flat sheets and entertained the kids for 30 minutes.

The real crowning glory is this before:

and after:

Jokes. Crosby's room needs some TLC. Actually mostly just a bed frame.  I'm done with Ikea junk and kind of lost steam looking on Kleinanzeige (Craigslist equivalent). So, it might be fall when Crosby's room officially comes together. Today I added a little art work to his room to replace the feminine profile in our 'before' set-up.

The idea of writing the kids' baby dedication verse on some of their art work came to me during one of my ADHD med induced insomnia sessions. However, it turns out Hugo doesn't have a verse. #middlechild We'll just start with Crosby. 

 

And last but not least, our latest downstairs upgrade.

Is it a baseball mit or a clam? Whatever it is, it isn't Ikea.

The Center Will Hold

This blog is potentially a taste of things to come - ie less entertaining. Two days ago I started "performance enhancing drugs" aka amphetamines for ADHD. I've heard from some ADHD authors that medication made them less "themselves". I'll risk being 30% less funny if it means I have a better handle on parenting 'complex' kids as my current, light summer read would call them.

I planned an hour-long train adventure to our favorite hot springs yesterday and am happy to report no melt-downs by me. I'd be lying if I said I slept great last night, but generally we'll say Elvanse's got me feeling like.

Before I got some uppers, I found comfort in power "reading" Anne Lamott: 

My favorite part of this book was her description of her trips to India and Scandinavia. 

This book was at the top of my list after reading this NYT article. 

 She killed it again with the coda. Bonus points if you read this book and connect it back to my blog title.

There is a direct correlation between how much "reading" I do and how much overtime Paul puts in. #mommyisnothappy Also, there's Hugo's new face he likes to make for pictures.

We've still got some kinks to work out.

Döner macht schöner

I've subjected my nephew, Oliver, to some charecter building his seventeen years.  

Yes, crimped hair was cool in 2008. Thanks for asking.

However, his recent weekend trip to Berlin wasn't supposed to be one of those occasions. What do you do with little and big kids in Berlin? Eat, move, and take pictures along the way.

The first stop was picking up Hugo from school to take him to a birthday party. Oliver was a bit surprised about the "Lord of the Flies vibe" in Hugo's free time room. His mom, Danielle, waited outside with the bags and was impressed with the city scenery.

Once Hugo found his place, I rounded-up the rest of the crew to head to ice cream. Crosby introduced Oliver to Woodruff "Waldmeister" flavor and Spaghetti Eis. I introduced Danielle to ice cream as an appetizer.

We were blessed with rain upon Oliver's arrival. A blessing because Germans don't go out in the rain, so we could take Oliver and Danielle to the best Döner spot without waiting in line. We also got primo outdoor seating. 

The next day we planned an urban hike. Well, I had a repeat of this hike in mind...

However, a more grown-up Darth just went to the Grünewald a couple days earlier with his class so he was less excited. Thus, we did a more historic urban hike through the Tiergarten. 

We only go to the most scenic spots.

First we walked through the Brandenburg gate:

Then we walked through the forest:

Some shorter-legged participants might have done an illegal double electric scooter ride with a parental guardian. 

While their legs did not work for forest walking, they managed to find the energy to climb the 285 steps to the top of the victory tower. I stayed at the bottom to play paparazzi and have my legs complimented by an "Opa" doing Parkour nearby.

I spy cousins.

It had been at least two hours since our last meal so we head to Cafe am Neuen See for beer garden vibes and canoeing free babysitting. 

Jokes. We put Carmen to work.

Carmen really found her swing. So much so that she proceeded to do this for an hour-and-a-half in Paul's arms.

  

An epic melt-down might have proceeded this nap.

With Carmen well rested, the girls head to Neukölln for a dance performance while the boys had a Sushi bonanza close to home.

#cooluncle

Team Biggs head to church on Sunday while Oliver and Danielle checked out the Berlin Wall Memorial  which is conveniently located just a couple tram stops from our house. Later, we met-up in Mauerpark for Sunday Mauerpark shenanigans.

 After, we introduced Oliver and Danielle to the German tradition of Kaffee und Kuchen. 

Hugo proceeded to drink most of my coffee. Bedtime was real fun that evening. 

Danielle and Oliver trained to Amsterdam the next morning. I'm talking to him tonight on our weekly "character building" call. Was Berlin the highlight of his Euro tour? How could it not be?

It's a Good Thing

Growing-up, my mom loved the show Martha Stewart Living. While she watched in rapture, I was mostly bored. Side note - we never watched "family shows" because in my opinion they were never truly interesting for kids nor for adults. Thankfully family television has improved dramatically since the 90s. Most recently, all five of us loved Win or Lose (Disney+) and Asterix and Obelix (Netflix). 

Needless to say, my mom and I didn't have a lot of overlapping hobbies. She loved making fancy stuff. I, for example, appreciate looking nice. However, the process of getting there - ie shopping - is a chore. She could persevere to re-try recipes to spin sugar while I opt to save-up my patience to endure my sous chefs' 'process'. 

Cutting watermelon = great way to entertain a kid for 20 minutes. Less great if you're trying to get out the door to meet Captain Maciek

Be jealous. My summer is complete and it's only June. But I digress...

Martha Stewart was my mom's Oprah, if you will. My Oprah is the author Anne Lemott. Her newest book, Somehow, did not disappoint. Never before have I felt more "seen" by an author than in her coda. 

It's right here for you who want to see inside my soul.

While googling a part of her book, ie going down an ADHD research rabbit hole, I discovered this book:

Learning to Speak God from Scratch is kind of like the books of one of my other favorite authors in that I can't really explain the topic well. But generally, the book fits in nicely with my goal of going "full church lady". (I am reclaiming that term from Dana Carvey.) I aim to spend more time reading and reflecting on faith than world news as an act of defiance against the ruling manbabies. It's a spiritual battle to stay informed enough while not letting them suck me into their vortex of nonsense. 

Learning to Speak God from Scratch is an excellent book in the toolkit of being intentional about not just what goes in your brain (and heart), but also what comes out of your mouth.  Can someone please read this book and tell me what you think. Also, can Jonathan Merritt be my real-life friend?

These times are weary making. We all need more hugs, encouragement, and grace to keep moving forward. We can't let anyone steal our joy. These little weirdos are counting on us.

Don't tell Martha. Store bought pie crust...it's a good thing.

Book Report: Woven

In our rare moments of lower level dinner chaos, Paul and I often end up explaining some asinine "Trumpet" nonsense. (Why are there secret prisons in El Salvador? Why are Afrikaners being given refugee status in the USA? etc, etc) While it's important that our kids are informed, these conversations aren't life giving. We've also fallen into a habit of talking more about politics than things that I would argue are more important - like faith. Which is a segue into a review about a book that I loved:

Listening to this book is like having a conversation with a parent-friend who knows her stuff. Which makes sense because it was recommended by just such a friend.

Fan girls of the "Christmas Angel Unicorn"

Before reading Woven, my take was, "As long as my kids know that God loves them, we're good." While knowing they are loved and accepted as they are is paramount, the next step is feeling in their bones that God can be trusted. I definitely catch myself, and my kids, in the thinking of, "It will all be ok because ...." 

we'll get our German citizenship.

we'll heal from whatever ailment.

we won't be in this season of life forever.

All of these things are good in-and-of themselves. But, trusting in those things is not the same as, "It will all be ok because God will be with me through all the nonsense and the nonsense to come." 

This lent I was hoping to help the kids memorize the Lord's Prayer.  I need the reminder, "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." It is a spoken acknowledgment that all is not well in the world but that this isn't the last word. We didn't make it far. In fact, most nights Carmen can't remember if 'Amen' is at the beginning or the end. 

This week she's away at camp, so there will be more time for contemplation...or fart jokes. Or contemplating fart jokes. 

And the winner is...Freiburg (im Breisgau)

I tried to play hard-to-get with the 'Boulder, CO' of DE. I was worried about its ego. When you live in one of the coolest places, it's hard not to let it go to your head. The truth is, I was pretty much immediately won over by the cyclist bridge directly in-front of the train station.

If you're traveling with children under the age of eight, the first stop is to buy some wooden boats to 'sail' along the canals. 

Side note: yes, Carmen has semi-permanent pink hair. I was in a rare position to make Carmen's pink hair dreams come true a couple of weeks ago. 

Step 1: Lost in Translation moment of booking one, two hour appointment instead of two appointments in one hour.

Step 2: Post field trip stroller nap

Step 2b: Continue sleeping once transferred to bike.

Step 3: Show me a happier kid.

But I digress...

Paul's former colleague, Cassandra, was the best tour guide of all time. She brought her own map, and showed us all the things.

And of course, Cassandra worked in stops for Carmen do what she does best:

Kuchen: 0, Carmen: 1

And she offered an optional hike extension for Hugo to be in his happy place:

The next day she lent Paul and me bikes so we could tootle around. 

Greenlake of Freiburg: check

Urban hike: check

Not pictured, acceptable Mexican food: check

The next day we head to Munich. 

The family snuggle seating on Munich S-Bahns was a plus:

I mean, look how much fun my kids are having.

And breakfast overlooking the city was baller:

Thank you Grandpa and Abuela for sponsoring such luxury!

But at the end of the day, no amount of frolicking in and around the city could hide that Munich is big and not the slowed pace we're seeking. 

I'm thankful that we still have another almost year-and-a-half in Berlin. I need time to convince more people that summer 2026 is the time to move to the Black Forest. I dare you not to fall in love with this city.