Merry Little Christmas

This year was another Zoom Church Christmas:

Yes, Paul's hair just keeps getting better and better. Thanks for asking.

With Corona restrictions, we technically are still aloud to go to church (although it would be a shorter service) and meet with people. However, out of an abundance of caution because we really want to keep the schools open, we've decided not to meet with any non-vaccinated friends i.e. other kids during the break. Crosby has one jab in him (yay!) but it's going to be awhile before other kids his age are vaccinated. So, this year was our smallest Christmas ever. But, it was also one of small victories.

1. I managed to sneak carrots in waffles without anyone noticing. 

The Beckley family tradition is to eat waffles with whip cream and strawberries on Christmas Eve. As far as I know, this tradition started with my grandparents as my Grandpa liked breakfast for dinner and they were looking for an easy meal with quick clean-up. They followed the German tradition of opening Christmas on Christmas Eve unlike everyone else I know in the US. As they were farmers in the early years, they had enough reasons to wake-up early, so they didn't need one more on Christmas.

My natural tendency is towards mommy's revenge, but this carrot addition was because my friend Shannon was gifted about a baby's weight of carrots from the Asian restaurant in her building. I had to use the carrots up, so I made the waffles a day ahead and then warmed them in the oven. Sadly, the day ahead waffles aren't the same, so I won't be repeating that plan for company. But, it was nice to not have to run around day-of.

The whip cream was also a good disguise.

2. Finding where St. Nick fits in the story 

Despite the fact that Paul and I are both technically from the same region of the USA, we had very different upbringings. Perhaps no where is this more evident than at Christmas time. There is a constant push-pull of me trying to focus on the reason we celebrate, and Paul trying to make it more fun. This is the second year where Santa stuffs the stockings but doesn't bring traditional big gifts.

In Germany, Saint Nicholas visits the kids who leave out their shined shoes on the 6th of December. On Christmas, extra presents are brought by the "Christmas Man" in the more Protestant North and "Christ Child" in the more Catholic South. Where we landed, is following the tradition of Saint Nicholas both on the 6th of December and Christmas. This year Saint Nicholas was a bit passive aggressive leaving this note in a book:

Santa also wants the boys to be better examples of not encouraging Carmen to repeat "potty talk".

3. Experience gifts instead of more stuff

Paul's parents jumped on board with the less toys, more memories this year:

PB^2 was gifted a dinner out when Paul's parents are (hopefully) here in a month.

Paul's and my presents to the boys were "Boys' Night" at a local hotel. We started this tradition about a year and a half ago when I had the idea to give Paul a night in a hotel for Father's Day. Don't feel totally bad for him, we first had a date, and then I left him to sleep. 

This year the boys each got a night in the hotel with Daddy. We gave the boys the option to stay together for two nights or separately for one night each. Understandably, Hugo wanted two, and Crosby wanted his own night. We ended up letting Hugo stay Christmas with Daddy and then Crosby on Boxing Day.

The plan with the hotel was that when we did the switch with the boys, that Carmen and I could go swimming in the hotel pool with boys. Well, Corona foiled that plan, so Carmen and I were left to go bike around the biggest city park, Tiergarten, in -10C/20F weather. 

No room at the Inn for Mommy and Baby = also Christmas in Berlin. 

4. A couple fair trade gifts under the tree

Sadly, this wasn't a total victory as the earbuds I ordered were too big for my non-European sized ears. However, the reusable cloth gift bags will be seen for years to come. For funsies - I did want to plug a few companies I found during my search.

Fairphone - This company makes fair-trade phones and accessories. Sadly we're still too dependent on Apple to make the true jump. 

Gulu Packing Cubes - I wish I would have found these fun packing cubes before I ordered some non-ethical option a year ago. I found this company while looking for festive cloth gift bags. 

Weedo Skisuits - We ended up getting a ski suit combo hand-me-down for Carmen that works so another ski suit was unnecessary. But man are these ski suits are awesome looking.

When you're this cute, it doesn't really matter if your snow gear matches.

5. Christmas Pizza

If we have waffles for dinner, Pizza for breakfast seems logical right?

6. Happy Kids

I was a bit concerned that the kids would be disappointed with the toned down gifts and even skipping the tree this year. (See last post - our cleaning lady was gone for a month, so as much as I wanted to vacuum even more... ;)) I present the Christmas Corner:

But, at the end of the day Hugo said his favorite part of Christmas was "Gummies" as in the gummies he got from the convenience store with Paul at Boy's Night. Crosby "aka Scrooge McDuck" was happy counting his Christmas money from Papa and Coco and Auntie Mo. Carmen, well, she likes it loud, so this was likely her fav:

Congratulations on surviving another Corona-filled Christmas season, especially if you were limping through it like me. The first Christmas also wasn't glamorous nor easy so we're just staying on theme.  

Work It

One of my parenting mottos is "focus on the parts that are working, and don't get too bummed out about the hard stuff". That mostly pertained to the infant stage where the sleep deprivation could really overshadow the awesome part of all the baby snuggles. Good segue to a throw back to two years and two days ago:

Hugo "spoiling" his new baby sister; bringing her a toy and a chicken nugget. Knowing Hugo a little better, his offering shows his devotion from day one. 

More photos and description of Miss "I do" at age two coming soon. 

In summary, she is very independent and always wants to be "helpful". 

Bringing Hugo the napkins.

Hugo's napkin folding skills are on point.

Our beloved cleaning lady, Alla, has been visiting family in Ukraine for the last month and so the kids...ahem...Crosby has been really picking up the slack.

Carmen cuddling is a very important part of the job description.

I lightened the chore load on Crosby since we added practicing piano to the routine. On a typical day, he comes from school does the unpaid things he needs to do (in red), and then if time allows starts working on the paid tasks (in green). Ideally he does a paid chore in the morning (usually unloading the dishwasher), but our mornings are already pretty rushed. Before he got really lego motivated, I requested that he just do one paid chore after returning from school. Now I let him do as many as he wants provided he's completed the unpaid tasks and time allows. 

Current chore chart

Our first versions of the chore chart included pictures (and timing during lockdown). Crosby just reminded me last week that now he can read and no longer requires all the inspirational artwork.

I developed the pay schedule through the years based on trial and error:

- 20 cents - he takes initiative and does a chore without me asking him to do anything

- 5 cents - he does a chore after I ask him

- 0 cents - he complains or doesn't do the chore the first time I ask

The important thing about the chores is that no matter what, he has to do them. We're usually all working together while he's doing chores. Taking part in the family work is not optional.* 

*Unless you're Hugo Beckley Biggs. Transitions from one activity to another are so challenging, that we're just focusing on behavior and basic needs - eat together, sleep (also together), and disposing of waste (sometimes together). #pickyourbattles #heimscheisser (Got to love German, it's a term for a person who will only poop at home. #threelittleheimscheissers) He does chores when he says "I want to make money." If he helps Crosby with unloading the dishwasher, for example, he gets 5 cents or more depending. He gets paid on the spot because #idontunderstandpatience.

This last Saturday, Crosby spent the better part of the morning getting our house "Sabbath ready". 

He packed and froze sandwiches for the week. (Not a paid task, because he's only preparing meals for himself.) He does a great job and it makes the mornings much easier. 

He put away a weeks' mountain of his and Hugo's clothes.

He picked-up and vacuumed the downstairs. 

It was at this point that I gave him a raise for vacuuming. I figured instead of 20 cents for the entire house, 20 cents a room was more fair. Crosby is always asking for a raise, and I felt like the model of acknowledging his hard work, without him asking, was more like what a raise looks like in the outside world. Also, 20 cents an hour is unfair labor practices. 

The extra moola is very motivating. My friend Shannon came over on Tuesday. While we were chatting in the living room she asked "is that the sound of the vacuum?" "Yes, that's Crosby finishing cleaning the kitchen." Big victory. With no reminding, there's a dude helping his mom. It's a culmination of years of finding a chore rythm and I am grateful.

At the end of our week of chore bonanza, Crosby adds up his total for the week and he puts the money in his wallet. It usually ends up being between 50 cents to 3 Euros. Sundays are supposed to be a rest day but he views it as a day he gets a guaranteed 20 cents for each chore because I don't ask him to do anything. It's not exactly the idea of Sabbath but again #norealsabbathformommy . Which is a good reminder, I better get my rest in while the kids are at school. This mommy is going to nap. 

Book Report: Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

As all of you devoted blog readers know, we are in the process of selling our house in Portland. We are not sure when and where our next stop will be, but Portland did not seem like the best choice as we do not have any family in the city (but friends as family...we miss you). Additionally, I have now developed a crush on a Portland author who wrote:

My friend Robyn recommended this book, but I got a little side tracked reading John Mark Comer's book Garden City first. There weren't any big aha moments for me in Garden City but I liked it, so I moved on to The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. He touches on some of my favorite topics - Sabbath and quiet times - while also overlaying some Biblical support for current trends of minimalism and mindfulness. Most of all, I found this book to be really validating.

I spend a lot of time thinking about stuff - specifically where my stuff is made, if the people who made the stuff were paid fairly, and if said stuff was produced with the environment in mind. It takes a lot of energy to find fair, sustainable stuff. My general strategy when I need something is I first try a second hand store. If I can't buy it used then I buy new preferably in-store. If I need to buy clothes I check my app - good on you (thanks Shannon for the tip!) - to see the ratings of the companies. Like I said, it's time consuming. But this book reminded me that it is worth it. A quote I wrote down is "1 in 6 people in the world work in the textile industry, 80% of them are women, and only 2% are paid fairly". The book is a call to action which results in more joy for all parties involved. 

Every birthday I pick a word that inspires me for the coming year. This year it was "Be". Originally I was thinking "Plan", but ha! no planning happening here during this forth wave. The idea behind "Be" is that I have always been working towards some big goal and right now is a time to just "be" as in what a Psalmist wrote in "be still and know that I am God." I'm also, provided kids are healthy and schools are open, in a position to have time to do some research instead of just buying in a frenzy. 

Speaking of stuff that brings us joy:

Our heat and hot water are out this weekend, but the single digit C (30s F) are no match for the sexy hotness sleeping bags.

Crosby has been bringing his big brother A-game - reading to the littles.

Cozy naps = resting his head on a cold metal monkey bar while riding over cobblestones...jokes

Blueberry Muffin Sous Chefs

Speaking of being helpful, I should probably assist Paul with Christmas prep. Stay cozy.