Book Report: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

Germany isn't big on Valentine's Day which is great for me, because a crafting project would likely put me over the edge. Not just because I have the flu.

That's two break-through cases for me in four years for those keeping score at home.

But also, as the title of this book might suggest, PB^2  is a bit of a low point.  

Funny enough, I didn't start reading this book at the low point. Totally unrelated, things just devolved. Nevertheless, I am very serious about the old "until death do us part". And so, I soldier on with some very practical encouragement from Jancee Dunn.  

The author does a much better job of putting to words the social phenomenon that I've been seeing play out around me. Women in my generation are bringing home the bacon and cooking it, so to speak. They've been told they can do anything, and so they are doing it. Heterosexual men, by and large, are a generation behind. They think as long as they are earning a paycheck whilst not being alcoholics nor beating their wives then they are nailing it. Meanwhile, heterosexual women everywhere are like, "Why don't I have a partner?"

Neither the book, nor I will go deep into how we got here as a society. But I will tell you what I'm doing to turn it around. I'm serious about teaching Crosby to cook. Here he is cooking chili for a dear friend who just had knee surgery. 

Here he is putting anything goes muffins in the oven. 

Generally we only cook during school breaks. However, there have been so many random school strikes recently, that apparently only our school participates in, that we've had some extra time on our hands. Crosby is very addicted motivated by video game time so he developed this very elaborate system to track his "payment".

I don't really know the hieroglyphics but the basic gist is he gets 10 minutes of playtime for:

- Picking up Carmen from preschool (He takes public transportation there and back. Stateside readers are crying tears of jealousy or anxiety.)

- "Babysitting" Hugo and Carmen. For example, he took Hugo sledding in Mauerpark for an hour.

- Writing down a recipe in his recipe book (I went on a little excursion to Dussmann to pick one out last fall break.) 

- Grocery shopping for the ingredients 

- Being a sous chef 

- Cooking all by himself (then he also gets 5 Euros)

He "hates" cooking. But, that's also part of being human - doing things you don't like not on an ideal schedule. While I've enjoyed the help, I think cooking has been a big confidence boost for him. The last couple weeks he's been helping me with our new Sunday tradition of "Park Soup." We load up an Insta-pot or two of soup, let it cook during church, and eat it at the park across from the Sunday School with whoever wants to join. Show me a 12 year-old who feeds 10-15 people on a Sunday:

Ok, that time I sent him out to the farmers market to buy ingredients for three seperate meals was physically too much to carry.

The littles are still in the sous chef territory. 

2 Kilos (4.5 pounds) Brussel sprouts prepped for Thanksgiving. Check.

This year, the three will be responsible for Christmas Eve dinner. The old Beckley family tradition is waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and a side of bacon or sausate. The new tradition is that Christmas is not brought to you by mom anymore. Crosby learned how to make an advent wreath at the florist by our house. 

And there will be multiple practice rounds between now and then.

Because as I was recently reminded at Berlin Projekt's Pop-Up Prayer room, I'm not loosing hope that this year (which starts in March) will be different.

"Behold, I make all things new."

Keep striving my heterosexual lady friends. And gay friends - thanks for blazing the trail to better gender equity. Love you all.