2025 Quotable Quotes

By my calculations it’s officially a new year. Thus, I present last year’s quotable quotes.

January:

- Crosby: “I’m going to start caring about grades in the middle of the year.”

- Hugo upon seeing the sun: “Oh my eyes, I’m a vampire.” 

- Carmen putting on her baklava scarf: “I look like a dumpling.”

- Hugo: “I can’t have a mom with a broken purse, that’s just embarrassing.”

February:

- Paige: “Are those the same ski socks as yesterday?” Hugo: “Yes, but I didn’t move my feet yesterday.”

- Hugo: “I might freeze to death. Tell my story if I don’t make it.”

- Hugo: “I’m thankful to grow up with technology so we don’t have to use whales for electricity.” 

- Carmen: “I’ve got a cough and the bless yous.”

- Hugo after I explained turning in our marriage certificate to the government for immigration purposes: “Do you have to turn it in so daddy can pick up Kokio (fried chicken) or Tacobell for you?”

March:

- International Women’s Day 

    - Paul: “Hugo, do you know what today is?”

    - Hugo: “Girls’ Day”

    - Paul: “Sort of, but we call it International Women’s Day… “Girls” is more of a word for kids.”

    - Hugo: “But Mommy isn’t a woman. She’s a mom.”

- Paige: “Do you want me to do a presentation at your school for International Women’s Day about my work?” Hugo: “You don’t work. Oh wait, your job is keeping us alive.” 

- Carmen on why dinner is not suitable: “When I eat this food, it makes my toe itch.” 

- Bedtime with Hugo: 

    - Hugo: “What are the three worst diseases to have at the same time?” 

    - Me: “In terms of suffering or death?” 

    - Hugo: “Death.” 

    - Me: “Ebola, Pancreatic Cancer, and …” 

    - Hugo: “That disease you get from eating raw pork leg?” 

    - Me: “Sure, trichinosis.” 

- Hugo on my favorite dance movie Center Stage:

    - Hugo: “You know that movie where the two boys are fighting over the girl?”

    - Paige: “Yes.”

    - Hugo: “You could see their nuts. Their pants were too tight. They had moose knuckles. What’s a moose knuckle?” 

    - Paige: “When pants are so tight that men’s privates look like a moose’s knuckle.”

    - Hugo: “Yes, that’s it.” 

- Hugo: “I want to be a lawyer because they make a lot of money. I’d be a good lawyer because I have very good excuses.” 

- Hugo whilst playing the animal guessing game. Abuela: “It lives in a house.” Hugo: “rats, mouses, a dog?” 

- Hugo on a bike ride with Daddy: “Now I understand why people find this (bike riding) enjoyable.”

April:

- Hugo: “It’s easy not to not get a baby. Just don’t lay down naked together. Or put a sock on your nuts.” 

- Paige: “Boys who have sisters are more empathetic” Crosby:  “I don’t know what empathetic means. Is that like not pathetic?”

- Hugo while putting his sun hat on after a recent burrito rolling lesson: “This looks like a burrito that wasn’t folded right.” 

May:

- Hugo: “I found a Playmobil on the ground.” Crosby: “Is it a limited edition cigarette figure?” 

- Crosby after I gave him cake: “Are you being nice to me because you have bad news?” 

June:

- Paige: “Your siblings did no chores while you were gone.” Crosby: “Oh my gosh, you poor thing” 

- Phone conversation with Hugo: Paul: “I love you” Hugo: “Can I hang up the phone now?”

- Crosby while making a walkie talkie beep and static: “Mom, your nightmare has come true. I’ve learned how to make techno music.”

July:

- Carmen: “I can only eat, sleep, dance and hair.” 

- Crosby: “I didn’t say you were a horrible person. I said you were a horrible mom.” 

- Paige: “Let’s go for a run.” Hugo: “Let me make a sign real quick that says loser so I can put it to my back and you can look at it while you’re running behind me.”

- Carmen at a discount supermarket: “Why does this smell like the toilet?”

August

- Carmen: “Unicorns are my favorite animal because they don’t poop. They do pee though, right?” 

- Carmen: “Do you know my boyfriend? He’s a DJ.” 

- Hugo: “When we’re officially Germans, can I wear sweatpants?” 

- Hugo to my side braid hairstyle: “You need to change your hair. You look like Pippi Long-stocking with one braid missing.”

- Hugo: “People here don’t really have braces. Their teeth are kind of snaggly. That’s not a good look.”

- Paige: “Rihanna can do whatever she wants.” Carmen: “Why? Because she doesn’t have parents or anyone she has to take care of?”

- Crosby: “We’re modern art statues.” Hugo: “We need to take off our clothes because sometimes statues show their butts.”

September:

- Carmen: “Hey Siri, I hate you so hard.”

- Carmen while snuggling: “Is my foot on your penis?” Paul: “Yes” Carmen: “Well, I can’t put it anywhere else.” 

- Carmen: “I didn’t wake him up. I just touched him and he opened his eyes.”

October:

- Crosby on JS Bach: “It sounded like religious yodeling.”

- Papa to Hugo: “Thanks for coming to visit me.” Hugo: “It wasn’t my choice.” 

- Hugo to Papa about the pool boy: “Do you pay him or did he come with the house?” 

- Hugo: “I’m a businessman. I don’t do things for free.”

December:

- Hugo On Val getting married: “Are you sure? You haven’t even known him a year?”

- Hugo: “Being a kita teacher is an easy job.” Paige: “It’s really hard. It’s like parenting.” Hugo: “Parenting is an easy job.” Paige: “It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had.” Hugo: “Well, you haven’t had a lot of hard jobs then.”

Speaking of which, I need to find that guy in the gaggle of Kur kids and get him to bed.

Kur: Part Deux

Greetings from Dürmentingen, Baden-Württemberg. Haven't heard of it? You're missing out on cutting edge agricultural vending machines.

Here Hugo is holding a can of artisanal "Pulled Porc" in one hand and ice cream in the other:

One of my fellow Kur-mates asked if I was eating cat food. I mean, do you put BBQ sauce on cat food? 

The principal reason for our reason to this beautiful region in the South of Germany is for a second round of Mutter-Kind-Kur. The first Kur was specifically for me; the children were there too because we were a package deal. Four years later, we are in a different phase of parenting. Specifically, Crosby is a boss who can grocery shop, do laundry, pick-up Carmen from Kita, take her on a two-hour round trip on public transportation for an all day, weeklong tennis camp all the while sending us funny text updates like this:

Also, he has 2-3 tests every week. So missing 2.5 weeks of school would be stressful. This Kur also does homework help, but 1.5 hours a day with some help from mom is a stretch. So he opted to stay back and hold down the fort. From Paul's photo reel, he appears to be loving it managing.

Instead of using a Kur Consultant this time, I attempted to find a Kur on my own. My diligence was, at first, not rewarded as I applied in December. As Kurs typically take a few months to schedule, I figured that applying six weeks before the four-year anniversary of our last Kur would be fine. Incorrect. In January, I collected all the relevant documents a second time from my doctor and pediatrician and wrote an even longer sob letter than my original December letter. That's what you get TK. As my devoted blog readers know, we've had a bit of a rough go here; hence the Kur. 

Once we got our Kur acceptance letter in February, I started doubting my strategy. With the consultant, she pinged me with a last minute spot. Now I needed to find a Kur on my own. But, that was also kind of the point; I wanted to be able to pick a Kur that was more tailored to ADHD.  There are many options, but most of them didn't have places until December 2026 or even later.  I did some scattershot googling at the beginning, hi ADHD, but in the end my strategy was:

1. Ask my girls for prayer

2. Use the drop down menu on this Kur Finder website to specify ADHD (or behavioral therapy, etc)

3. Call each location to ask if they have a waiting list

4. Email the location with a canned email that basically said a) I can mobilize with 24 hour notice b) I'm available between now and May 13th c) look at this adorable photo of Hugo and me

Within a couple days I got an email back from Rehaklinik Schwabenland saying there might be a spot open, and then a day later confirming a last-minute opening. There was much, much less paperwork this time for which I am very grateful. Also because I kind of know the drill, the waiting for what comes next with my schedule is also more relaxed. Ideally we wouldn't need a Kur every four years, or sooner if that was even an option. But, life happens; I'm thankful that we have health insurance that helps us get the wheels back on.

Much more to come, but for now - lunch. Hang in there my friends who could all also use a Kur right about now.

Book Report: Self-Care for People with ADHD

One of the sillier suggestions of this book is to do handstands to reset the brain.

While I do think handstands are effective, show me an ADHD parent with available wall space? My adoring blog fans are like, "Wait, couldn't you use that sad mattress on the floor set-up you call Crosby's room?" Nope. After years of sleeping on the floor with a preschooler, the dude got a major upgrade. 

Per usual, Onkle Andrew carried the team on this build. 

But I digress...

My major ADHD symptom as a child was I would loose everything. Yes, of course it makes sense to put things back in their home. But when my brain is totally elsewhere, I have no idea what I am even doing with my hands. For that reason, when someone would ask that ice breaker question, "Who would you hire if you won the lottery?" I would always say, "equipment manager". Paul would say, "personal chef", which brings me back to the book...

The author had some generally helpful suggestions. However, my top tip for managing ADHD would be a hard-sell to publish anywhere but a well-aged blogger: maintain your ride or die relationship.

In this picture, Paul willingly signed up to be my "gear sherpa" for life. Little did he know that my misplacement of all-the-things was just the tip of the ADHD iceberg. After having one-too-many insurance payments forgotten, Paul took over managing our bills. He also took over all of our retirement/investing planning. While my ADHD mom carved out a successful career as a financial planner, the combination of zero interest in the subject matter and general concern that I'm going to screw something up meant Paul was a better fit. 

The bottom line is that being married to someone with ADHD is a lot of work. Sometimes you will feel like you have another child to take-care-of. You will pay the "ADHD Tax" when your partner breaks/looses/destroys the iphone/diamond earring/two washing machines and counting. The hardest part of PB^2 is that we produced at least one confirmed "race car without breaks". ADHD  has such a strong genetic link that only time will tell if the neurotypical members of our family will be outnumbered. 

There are, however, some plus sides. Partners with ADHD are generally fun. We stay active. Additionally, according this book which is way too long for any person with ADHD to read, we usually have a higher sex drive.

Hold/loan purgatory rotation at the PDX library. TLDR

A word of caution, however, we are bad at birth control. The closest thing we came to a pre-nuptial agreement was that Paul agreed to get a vasectomy after we got too far in over our heads finished having kids. Vasectomies are one of the few medical procedures that aren't covered by health insurance in Germany. When people say Berlin is still a cash economy, they mean it:

Jokes. We don't have the special EC credit card so we sometimes have to do ridiculous things like count out 620 Euros for a snip.

But back to the purpose of this post, which is two fold. Firstly, I wanted to write something encouraging about my relationship with Paul after this book report. Did I accomplish it by blogging publicly about his vasectomy to my many, many readers? It does say something about his character that he willingly went under the knife for his wife and does not flinch when I share his good deed rather publicly. Also, right now he's at work while I'm at home observing my Sabbath. 

Perhaps because of my ADHD, I've generally found technology too boring to figure out. My college-aged, ADHD naïve self didn't plan for a future where most jobs requiring post-secondary education are in-front of a screen. Meanwhile, Paul has made a successful career in tech. It does pain this enneagram eight that our family roles fall along gender stereotypes, but a common theme at casa Biggs is accepting life as it is, not as we wish it to be. Also, I generally need more rest than your neurotypical mama bear.

I am thankful that Paul brings home the bacon. I'm grateful he also loves me even though I literally have 9,765 emails in my inbox right now. I appreciate that he accepts that our family ADHD is career limiting for him as well as for me. More than anything, I'm thankful that he doesn't stand back and gaze at me with a look that says, "Can't you just get your $hit together?". 

The second aim of this blog is to encourage a few of my neurotypical partner friends to stay in relationship. Partners of ADHDers require a supernatural amount of patience + the patience that we ADHDers generally lack. PB^2 have been hitting the Contemplative Prayer much harder this Lent and hope to keep it up. There is also more non-divine help available now than generations past. One lucky little Biggs and I will be heading to the middle-of-no-where after Easter for three weeks to try and get all the behavioral therapy at a Mutter-Kind-Kur. The next three-ish weeks will be a scattershot of preparations to keep the remaining Berlin Biggs in good shape while we are away doing this:

Hang in there my neurotypical friends. We need you a lot more than you need us. 

How To: Obergurgl

Q: What do you give the man who has everything?

2020 A: A meeting with his first granddaughter and a brownie.

And then proceed to go on the best ski trip ever known to parents of young children. 

Any ideal ski trip starts on the train:

Three backpacks and four huge bags because little Biggs weren't carrying their own bags.

while doing this:

But sometimes your train is canceled 20 minutes before departure and the floor of another train heading the same direction will do.

Current bag count: 13-14: five backpacks, three small rollies, two big rollies, one snack bag, and one empty bag to put jackets/hats into

And maybe your husband has a deadline so he'll fashion a standing desk to work on a Saturday.

I was planning on giving-up complaining about AI for Lent but instead I went for abstaining from Youtube. Sorry not sorry. 

The hotel will have amazing amenities:

like a Hugie Hole in your apartment

or go-carts 

 or parcours

or ponies

or waterslides

or maybe just silly little jacuzzis that fill with sulfur smelling water when you press a button. 

There will be bro-time:

Walking-up to Neuschwanstein while eating quarkball donuts (Silver lining of the week before the pandemic in Germany, we could get in without a reserving in advance because all the Asian tourists cancelled.)

or zooming down night sledding

Needless to say, our trip to Obergurgl, Austria would not be Coco approved. This year, Papa gets a birthday dedicated blog post. Is that a downgrade from six years ago? You be the judge.

This year's ski trip was a continuation of the shift from the little kid phase of ski trips that "needed" to include hotels with a waterslide. The focuses are now snow "sureness", walkability to the ski school, and bacon availability at breakfast. Our resident trip planner has identified a few interest areas of high elevation to check out for future ski visits. Paul still thirsts for adventure and works it in where he can whilst I only travel for people I love and/or skiing. 

This year we're getting our priorities straight - planning the ski trip first and then doing our taxes. Families with more than two kids need to be extra early or you'll be paying for two rooms instead of one suite type set-up. Although two bathrooms are still very, very desirable. We got lucky this year not getting a Norovirus type illness but were less fortunate here, here, and here.

The town of Obergurgl, just up from Solden, is at an elevation of over 1900 m / 6000 ft. As such it is about as "snow sure" as you can get in Europe. Most hotels operate on a Saturday to Saturday reservation schedule between Christmas and late February. Many ski schools will do a test to determine the kids' ski levels on the first day and then they'll be in a group for the rest of the week.

Last year we made the mistake of sending our skiers into the test "cold". As such, one skier did not end up in the preferred ski group. This year, I pushed for the kids to ski with us the first day, Sunday, and then start ski lessons on Monday. I told Paul that I could likely teach the kids how to ski better than teenage, Dutch ski instructors. 

I mean, I can still ski backwards.

However, Paul was correct in his hesitations. The first day the kids looked like this. 

By the end of the week the boys could more or less keep up with us:

Carmen still lags behind but she's the happiest little straggler.

Just follow the singing and you'll find her.

Most days the kids still wanted to keep skiing after their all-day lesson. We only had an hour until the mountain closed, but because we never waited in a line more than a couple minutes, we could get at least a run in. But sometimes they wanted to hit the town.

On the last day I was in bed with the flu but Hugo wanted to keep going so Paul let him take the gondola and then a run by himself. #Europeankid

In general, the kids would rather ski with us than in the lesson. But it's really nice to have time as a couple and/or with adults we love and miss.

Happy seventh anniversary Tío Jorge and Tante Claudia!

No friends kids on powder days.

Thankfully we found that walking five-ten minutes to ski school from the hotel is manageable. However, the key is having ski lockers next to the ski school drop. Ideally we should rent our gear from the ski shop at the mountain because they often include lockers as part of the rental. #protip 

Next year we're trying our hand at a hotel with just breakfast instead of half-pension unless another family wants to join-in January 30 - February 6 2027. We attempted one dinner out with our crew before sledding and confirmed that if you're rolling this deep, you need a half-pension with dinner starting no later than 18:30 PM.

It was so nice to get a two-for-one out of this trip - seeing dear friends and skiing. And, hopefully they'll still like us even after I gave Claudia the flu. Was it worth it? These people say yes.

Happy Birthday Papa! Thanks again for sponsoring our first ski trip as a family of five and the many, many Beckley trips before it. I only wish that you'd kept the awesome gear to pass down.

Book Report: The Devil Never Sleeps

 What kind of weirdo reads books like this sort of for fun?

The same one who volunteers to take a two-year old on a 3 km/2.2 mile definitely-wouldn't-fly-in-the-USA night sledding track.

Good judgement is overridden by toddler snuggle/giggles.

Try to resist as I might, my ADHD often leads me down research rabbit holes. The recent Brown University shooting that involved students, although indirectly, who had already previously survived other earlier shootings was too horrifying to ignore. While gathering information, I stumbled upon an Atlantic article by Juliette Kayyen which a foot note about The Devil Never Sleeps. As my devoted blog readers know, I dabble in prepping so my curiosity was piqued. 

The basic premise of the book is that disasters are the norm not the exception. We can't just rely on Bad Bunny's masterful Super Bowl Performance to remind us that Puerto Rico, not unlike many places in the world, is woefully underprepared for the next disaster. The true audience of the book should be people in leadership positions of governments and institutions. However, clearly the leaders of the free world are not taking this message to heart. Neither are everyday people working to make ends. And so #momcivicduty and #paulworkspaigepreps

While it sounds negative to say, "There will always be disasters," a version of which I recently wrote in my application for another Mutter-Kind-Kur. The other side, "It's going to be ok" just isn't true. In disaster management, as in life, we're going for "less bad" after the unthinkable happens. This book isn't a downer. On the contrary, it's an interesting read from a perspective that we normally don't hear. Let me know if you give it a listen or read.

Book Report: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

Germany isn't big on Valentine's Day which is great for me, because a crafting project would likely put me over the edge. Not just because I have the flu.

That's two break-through cases for me in four years for those keeping score at home.

But also, as the title of this book might suggest, PB^2  is a bit of a low point.  

Funny enough, I didn't start reading this book at the low point. Totally unrelated, things just devolved because AI. Nevertheless, I am very serious about the old "until death do us part". And so, I soldier on with some very practical encouragement from Jancee Dunn.  

The author does a much better job of putting to words the social phenomenon that I've been seeing play out around me. Women in my generation are bringing home the bacon and cooking it, so to speak. They've been told they can do anything, and so they are doing it. Heterosexual men, by and large, are a generation behind. They think as long as they are earning a paycheck whilst not being alcoholics nor beating their wives then they are nailing it. Meanwhile, heterosexual women everywhere are like, "Why don't I have a partner?"

Neither the book, nor I will go deep into how we got here as a society. But I will tell you what I'm doing to turn it around. I'm serious about teaching Crosby to cook. Here he is cooking chili for a dear friend who just had knee surgery. 

Here he is putting anything goes muffins in the oven. 

Generally we only cook during school breaks. However, there have been so many random school strikes recently, that apparently only our school participates in, that we've had some extra time on our hands. Crosby is very addicted motivated by video game time so he developed this very elaborate system to track his "payment".

I don't really know the hieroglyphics but the basic gist is he gets 10 minutes of playtime for:

- Picking up Carmen from preschool (He takes public transportation there and back. Stateside readers are crying tears of jealousy or anxiety.)

- "Babysitting" Hugo and Carmen. For example, he took Hugo sledding in Mauerpark for an hour.

- Writing down a recipe in his recipe book (I went on a little excursion to Dussmann to pick one out last fall break.) 

- Grocery shopping for the ingredients 

- Being a sous chef 

- Cooking all by himself (then he also gets 5 Euros)

He "hates" cooking. But, that's also part of being human - doing things you don't like not on an ideal schedule. While I've enjoyed the help, I think cooking has been a big confidence boost for him. The last couple weeks he's been helping me with our new Sunday tradition of "Park Soup." We load up an Insta-pot or two of soup, let it cook during church, and eat it at the park across from the Sunday School with whoever wants to join. Show me a 12 year-old who feeds 10-15 people on a Sunday:

Ok, that time I sent him out to the farmers market to buy ingredients for three seperate meals was physically too much to carry.

The littles are still in the sous chef territory. 

2 Kilos (4.5 pounds) Brussel sprouts prepped for Thanksgiving. Check.

This year, the three will be responsible for Christmas Eve dinner. The old Beckley family tradition is waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and a side of bacon or sausate. The new tradition is that Christmas is not brought to you by mom anymore. Crosby learned how to make an advent wreath at the florist by our house. 

And there will be multiple practice rounds between now and then.

Because as I was recently reminded at Berlin Projekt's Pop-Up Prayer room, I'm not loosing hope that this year (which starts in March) will be different.

"Behold, I make all things new."

Keep striving my heterosexual lady friends. And gay friends - thanks for blazing the trail to better gender equity. Love you all.

Memes to Live By

As I'm not on social media, I rely on the universe (ie my lovely friends) and WhatsApp Status (social media gateway drug) to help me stay "relevant". Relevant like blogging in 2026. Speaking of which, happy Blog-aversary to me - 20 years next month. Has the content improved? Debatable. Has the photography?

Not when I'm in charge. 

Humble brag - Hugo passed his bronze swim test so next year's school swimming hopefully won't be a snooze fest. He managed to argue with me every time he turned at the wall about how many more laps he needed to do. He'll start Judo next month. #notcoachmom

When accomplishing challenging tasks, like solo parenting while Paul is NYC, memes go a long way. And so I present to you a very small collection of some of my recent favorites.

As you can see, I've got sleep on the brain. Every year when winter hits my goal is to hibernate. It isn't because I don't like cold, I think I just don't like feeling like I'm dragging. So when I saw this from a new church buddy, a new mantra was born.

On that note, a nap beckons. Stay rested my friends...