Ode to Nap

There are a few milestones in a parent's life:

1. Ditching the diapers
2. Dropping the nap
3. Unassisted satisfactory butt wiping
4. High school graduation

Crack open a bag of seaweed snacks - we're halfway through parenting!

During the big summer visit from Paul's college friends, our friend Maggie dutifully recorded Carmen in action...or inaction as it were.

At the zoo

Seeing the sites

At the beach

Waiting for the train

Off the train

Carmen dropped her nap at Kita this fall. Following in the footsteps of Hugo, she has some epic on-the-go napping.

"Fall asleep outside and wheel into the bathroom stroller nap"

"Bottom of the stroller variation of the fall asleep outside and wheel into the bathroom stroller nap"

This three hour nap was our first clue that we were dealing with another round of pinworms.

Mommy bliss before finding lice in her hair and spending the next hours combing everyone. 

"Fell asleep with the top down but now it's sprinkling umbrella save nap"

"Crosby - hang out here with Carmen while Hugo and I pop into the grocery store nap"

"Neck holder assist upright nap"

Paul also took some good photos of her napping in Greece:

Since Corona, the Kita requires that kids be symptom free for 48 hours before returning after illness. As such, there is usually one day where the littles have all the energy but are still not allowed back at Kita. Enter the Construction Playground. Kolle 37 embodies my favorite German childhood ethos - all the self-sufficient fun with very little consideration for safety. 

Children 6-16 can go play with construction materials with some staff supervision. There is no sign-up required, no emergency contact numbers recorded, and no waivers signed. Parents are not allowed inside unless it is a special family day. Most parents actually aren't anywhere to be found. However, as Hugo doesn't have a phone watch, I hung out at the tables and chairs in-front of the park so he could find me again. He had a great time and said "I'm not allowed to play with the electric saw until I practice for 50 hours with the manual saw." As such, I anticipate a lot more of this: 

"Hugo goes and plays with saws while mommy supervises me" nap

Book Report: Fair Play

In the spirit of Fair Play, Paul is taking care of his crew:

Naxos, Greece with the OG Biggs

I'm enjoying time with mine:

Top of the Frauenkirche in Dresden with Linda and Dan

I've also had a few glorious days alone in our house. My original parenting break goal was to spend some time in my "Unicorn Space". Unicorn Space is the name the author of Fair Play, Eve Rodsky, uses to describe an activity that gives you life. My Unicorn Space is trying to make Paul laugh through blogging. Although like many tired parents, I've spent a lot of time vegging out this week instead of writing. I've seen two Jennifer Lopez movies this week. Hustlers did not disappoint. #noregrets

Back to Fair Play - the goal is to find an equitable balance of domestic tasks. Rodsky defined 100 tasks, each represented by a card, to be dealt between partners. Some cards we could take out of play - no holiday cards coming from us anytime soon. Some tasks we split to make two cards. 'Bathing and Grooming (kids)' is Paul taking care of 'hair and nails' and me monitoring bathing 'frequency'. 

Mohawk: check

Our playing board looked like this before our trip to the US:

Some cards one person will likely always hold. Paul holds the 'Electronics and IT' card. I hold the 'Extracurricular' card - much to the kids' chagrin. The piano battle with Crosby and theater battle for Hugo rage on. 

Hugo tongue out = intense concentration or not-so-subtle participation defiance. Just five classes left but who's counting?

Other cards will be traded depending on the situation. Paul is the official travel planner, and traveler, until further notice. 

It's a tough task, but Paul soldiers on.

Ideally we look over the week ahead and re-deal cards as necessary every Friday evening when the kids are in bed. This is also the time when we schedule tasks in our calendars. Putting tasks in the calendar was Paul's idea. 

Has family harmony been restored? No. Did we ever have family harmony? Not since moving to Germany. However, the Fair Play system has helped us improve our task balance and better model for the kids. 

Before Fair Play, I mostly kept in touch with Paul's parents. I'm already sensitive to the fact that Paul and I are unintentionally in traditional gender roles. But, the mom being the sole parent maintaining contact with family was unacceptable. Paul is more than making up for the family communication break-down this week while continuing to hold the 'memories and photo' card.

This is the look of boys with an understanding of equitable mental load distribution.